Episode #200 is here ~ 200 podcast episodes of love, fun, and connection!
And who better to celebrate with than my lifelong friend, Lisa Van Otten.
Lisa shares what it really means to lead with love ~ in family, work, and life.
Hey y’all, welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law podcast where connection, love, and a whole lot of fun come together. I’m LeAnn Austin, boy mom and teacher turned master-certified life coach, who once had all the feelings when cute girlies started dating my sons. I had to learn a lot about love, boundaries, and connection, not just with my daughters-in-law, but with myself. That’s how Lovin My Daughter-in-law was born.
So if you’re craving more love, connection, and fun in your life. Especially the kind that starts from within this podcast is for you.
Today’s episode #200: Lead with Love with Lisa Van Otten
I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives and their relationships.
We have the amazing Lisa sharing some beautiful love and relationship insights with us today. All right, Lisa tell us a little bit about you.
Well, LeAnn and I have known each other since we were five. We grew up together and so she is a lifelong dear friend of mine. So I don’t know, you know so much about me. I’ve been married for 29 years, have two beautiful girls that I’m very proud of, and two grandsons who are currently the light of my life.
I am a special education teacher. Currently I am a teacher specialist in our school district for early childhood special education. So I get to support teachers in their classrooms and their roles and support families for kids ages three to five.
Yeah. What else do you wanna know? I love that so much. Well, there’s so many things about you and the fact that I have known Lisa longer than probably anybody else except my parents, you know, is pretty amazing. And what is super tender to me and I’m trying not to cry about this, but this is my 200th podcast and I wanted someone really special on this one. So I’m so grateful that my dear friend Lisa, that I’ve known longer than anybody, is willing to come on here and share her beauty, her light, and her love with you.
So thank you so much for being here. I appreciate it. I am very honored. I didn’t realize 200. Yep. That’s so remarkable LeAnn. Well, it is an honor to have you here, so thanks for celebrating this with me. Alright, so tell me first question, how do you incorporate love into your business and life, and how does that impact your relationships?
So I don’t know that I’ve ever really sat down and thought about love until you sent me your questions. But obviously in special education you have to lead with love or your ship is sunk. And I would say in my role as a teacher specialist, we’re all imperfect beings and teaching is a very personal endeavor. And so I can’t do it without a certain amount of compassion and understanding for the teachers and the speech and language pathologists that I support.
And I think that is something that I do on a daily basis when I’m interacting with them. And I also interact with families of really sensitive situations, and I see a lot of triumph and a lot of heartache and celebration all wrapped up in one. And so I think I get an opportunity to really respond to the world in love as a result of my job.
I would also say, you know, being a mom and a grandma, that’s something that also is an endeavor of love, and you can’t also do that without a certain amount of, a whole lot of love for the people that you are interacting with.
Yeah, that’s so true. And Lisa radiates love, like she is so full of love and compassion and just her experience with so many things throughout her life, and the fact that she is still my friend. You know, she has a lot of love. Oh my goodness, all these years. We’ve been through it all, haven’t we? We have had quite an adventure together. So just like her compassion and love, you can feel it. So thank you. Thanks for sharing that.
Alright, so I know you can’t wait for this question. What is something you love about you and why? Tell me what do you think? I’m certain that’s everyone’s favorite. Yes, I did have to think long and hard about that one. I do have to say, like you mentioned a little bit, my life experience has given me a tremendous amount of empathy. Because of how I was raised and who I was raised by.
I have a different perspective about people and the fact that you never know where someone is coming from. You don’t know what their background is. You don’t know what their experiences are, but those always tell you why someone is the way they are.
And so I feel like because of that, that’s something that I like about myself. That I have that perspective and that vision of people and, you know, sometimes it makes me really indecisive and it makes me, I don’t know, maybe a little bit too soft, but I like the fact that I understand people and I can see both sides to a situation.
Yeah, I love that too. And one of my favorite quotes is you either love someone or you don’t understand them. And that is such a beautiful quality that you have Lisa, that you really do seek to understand the situation, whatever it may be. So yeah, what a great thing. I love that you recognize that too, like that’s such an amazing quality to have. Thanks LeAnn.
Alright, so I love talking about connection with others and ourselves and I think the daughter-in-law relationship is packed full of endless examples for us to learn from. So any thoughts about the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, relationship that you wanna share?
So personally, I am a mother-in-law to a son-in-law, not a daughter-in-law. And that I think is very different than if it was a daughter-in-law. But I am a daughter-in-law and I’ll tell you that my journey with my mother-in-law has been, it’s been long since I’ve been married 29 years, and I’ll just share, it just made me think of this little story.
You know, as a daughter-in-law, sometimes you inadvertently do things that hurt your mother-in-law without knowing about it. Right. And so as a young mom, I did some things that I don’t even remember or I didn’t even realize because my intention would never be to hurt. And my mother-in-law would continually bring it up that Ben, my husband and I didn’t want her to watch our daughter.
And there was one particular time that was really hurtful to her where she just wanted Corinne, my daughter, to spend the night, and I thought she was too young and we didn’t allow that. And she carried that forward for years and years and years and she will bring it up repeatedly.
And at first my response was the defense and anger irritation. And as I thought about it, I realized that what I had done, even though it wasn’t on purpose, was it caused a wound. And it was something that maybe I needed to reconcile. So, about four weeks ago, we were on the phone together and a perfect opportunity came up. And I brought it up and I told her that I was sorry, that I wanted her to know that it wasn’t ever intentional, and I don’t even really remember the event, but it was clearly a painful thing for her that she’s held onto for 20 plus years.
And I can’t tell you what that has done to our relationship. Like we were friends before, but it shifted it somehow. And it’s better. And so I think you talk a lot about love and understanding and hearing people. I think by hearing what she was saying and hearing the hurt, I was able to reconcile that and even though it wasn’t intentional, now it’s healed.
I love that you are open to, again, addressing it, even though it was more her thing than yours, you know. That’s pretty compassionate to be like, okay, let’s see what we can do. More so to help her. Yeah.
And I think that we inadvertently hurt each other all the time, right? Yeah. Without even meaning to in relationships. Yeah. Relationships are just tricky and I think without the ability to forgive and ask for forgiveness. I just don’t think that you really can have a real honest, open relationship. Right. Absolutely.
And I almost think you need that rupture and repair to strengthen the relationship. Yeah. Otherwise it’s so kind of surface level. Unless you do have things, you know, come up that are driving each other nuts, you know? I absolutely agree. Right. Yeah. It’s moving muscle. You gotta turn off. Yes. Rebuild it. Yes, exactly.
Oh, thank you so much for sharing that. That is beautiful. And I just love that it strengthened your relationship even more. Yeah, for sure. And you know, outside of her offering that forgiveness, which did strengthen and heal the relationship on both ends, she does so many things as a mother-in-law too over the years, that also has strengthened our relationship.
She is fiercely loyal. She treats me like her own, which is so appreciated. I know one of my favorite things is, it’s not uncommon for me to get a text from her that says: Hey, if you wanna stop by my house, I have made some soup or I’ve made stuffed peppers or whatnot. If you want to, you could take it home for dinner.
And she said to me numerous times, I know that you’re working. And sometimes it’s just hard to balance that. So she’s always thinking of me and our family and my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and all of us. She’s just such a great caretaker and she cares so deeply about family.
I think that also makes a difference because she’s always putting herself out there. She sends me these funny texts about short girls since I’m short, and some of them are just hysterical about short girls and their energy and their fierceness and don’t mess with short girls, which is very funny. So she also makes a lot of efforts to build relationships, which I so appreciate.
I love that so much. And her food sounds delicious. Oh, she’s the best. Well, and that’s so nice for you to come home from working and be able to just swing by and grabs some food, that’s pretty tender. I love that. Yeah, she’s great. I love her. So I’m gonna have to hear some short girl jokes too. That’s pretty funny. Oh, that’s awesome.
Is there anything else that you wanna share? I can’t think of anything. Maybe just something. Well, let’s just talk about Lori, my sister. I would love that. So, my beautiful sister Lori, she’s passed away. She passed away in 2021 and she had Down Syndrome and she was probably the epitome of love on every level. Right.
And I think that I had an amazing teacher in love and understanding and accepting people for who they are and for where they are. And looking for people that needed a hug or, I mean, I don’t know that she was really looking for people that needed to hug. She just felt like she needed to hug everyone, but how would it be to live a life like that?
I mean, so it’s been four years. September 15th has been four years. Oh wow. So many tender memories that I do have of her as well. And yes, always hugs, always love, always like, and I think you were spot on in how much love she radiated, and how it strengthened you and what you shared as well. I’m sure going through the experience of having her as a sister was great. Yeah. Oh our sweet Lori. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you.
All right, so what is your favorite question or quote about love and how have you used it for yourself and in your relationships? So, the quote really that I always comes to mind when you talk about love is First Corinthians 13. It highlights all of the aspects of what true love is, right?
We see so often, we see romantic love portrayed in movies and TV and stories, but like what real love is kind and patient and not thinking of yourself. And it’s not boastful, it’s forgiving, it’s understanding, and those are all hard qualities to live by.
And I don’t know that I always think of that. It’s not always in the forefront of my mind, but when somebody asks me about love, that’s where my mind goes to. And it sure seems like the world could use a boost of true love right now. I mean, there’s just so much craziness and so much rage and so much intolerance. And I think there’s probably more goodness and love out there than we recognize because it’s not forefront. It’s not forefront in our media. It’s not forefront on social media or the things that people talk about, but man, what a world we’d have if we could abide by 1st Corinthians 13.
Oh I love that so much, and that makes me wanna go reread and really focus in on each of those words to be like. So all right, 1st Corinthians 13. Hmm, something to think about. Yeah. Thank you Lisa. Thank you for sharing your love insights with us today. So appreciate and love you and thanks for being my friend for 48 plus years. Thank you. And I’m hoping for another 48 for sure here, so let’s do it. Thank you so much. Ah, I love you friend.
All right. Here’s to leading with love, hearing, understanding, and connection. Have a good one y’all.
Thanks for hanging out with me today on Lovin My Daughter-in-law podcast. I hope you’re walking away with a little more connection, love, and lightness in your heart.
If this episode made you smile, tap the follow button and share it with a friend.
And if you’re tired of walking on eggshells, second guessing yourself, feeling disconnected, or ready to learn all about your nervous system, come join us inside Connection Crew or grab some One-on-One Coaching. I’d love to be your coach and cheer you on.
Until next time, be you, love you, build connections, and have some fun.