What if there’s nothing to fix about you or them?
The amazing comedian, Darcy Christ, shares her wise, funny, and freeing thoughts about connection and love.
Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law podcast. I’m relationship expert and master certified coach LeAnn Austin. I’ll help you create more connection, love, and fun with others, yourself and your daughter-in-law.
Hey y’all, welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law, episode #184: Nothing to Fix with Darcy Christ
I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives and their relationships. We have the amazing Darcy sharing some beautiful love and relationship insights with us today.
Alright Darcy, tell us a little bit about you. Hi LeAnn. My name is Darcy Christ and LeAnn and I met doing some coaching stuff and I am no longer a life coach, but I still have that mentality. I’m a mom of two girls. I’ve been married forever, and my daughters are 32 and 28. I started doing standup comedy in the last year, which is kind of why I’m not coaching anymore. And my daughters and I just started a podcast together called Read the Room, a co co comedic podcast hopefully.
I love that and I cannot wait to listen to that, and I love that you’re a comedian now. Oh my goodness Darcy, so exciting. Having fun, that is so cool. Alright, well tell us how do you incorporate love into your business and life, and how does that impact your relationships?
It’s an interesting question with comedy. I think you have to love yourself to be able to do comedy and to love people all the, I don’t know, it depends. I love people. I was a stay at home mom, you know, kind of still am, but my kids are gone now. But I think to me, love is in everything I do, because I just feel like that’s kind of my foundation.
It sounds really, I don’t know, maybe Pollyanna and I’m kind of a smart alec. But I just, I think love is the basis. I think it’s kind of the meaning of life. And I came up with a meditation a long time ago like, I am love shared and I try to live into that. Not always perfect at it, not even close, but just remembering to come from a place of love is so much more satisfying and powerful than coming from a place of criticism and judgment.
Yes, a hundred percent. I love that. I am love shared too. That is so beautiful. And I know the times that I’ve been able to connect with you in person, I can feel that love from you. And so I really appreciate that you radiate that, and that now you’re doing it with the podcast and with comedian stuff and all of that things.
That’s so cool. That’s awesome. Yeah. Alright, so tell us what’s something you love about you and why?
I love about me, what I think is kind of my superpower is, I get embarrassed saying this stuff, but I’m gonna say it anyway because I think this is my truth. That I feel like I have my superpowers, feeling connected with people.
And so I love that about myself and I love, especially with my experience with a lot of therapy over the years and coaching and becoming a coach, and doing my own work, is that I feel like I’m good at accepting people where they are. And holding space for them and, something I’ve come to in the last few years is that there’s nothing to fix with me.
And, you know, not making myself wrong about having thoughts and feelings. And more recently, really being able to expand that to other people. So I’m like, okay, if there’s nothing to fix about me, there’s nothing to fix about him or her either. I love that. So it’s just is so, freedom. It’s so much, it’s so freeing to be like, I don’t have to do anything but love this person.
And if I don’t, I can walk away. But I don’t have to, you know, tell them what they need to do about anything. So yeah, because that basis of nothing to fix and yeah, they get to be them. I get to be me and if we are enjoying each other’s company, great. If not, we don’t have to. We don’t have to be in it. Exactly.
Yeah. Oh, I love that you recognize that about yourself and love that about you too. That’s beautiful. Thank you. Awesome. Alright, so I love talking about connections with others and ourselves and I think the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law relationship is packed full of examples. So any thoughts about that relationship or anything really?
I just, you know, I had a wonderful mother-in-law. She was June Cleaver. She’s been gone for, you know, over a decade now. I miss her. We were close, but we were not. She was always very kind. We, I mean, there was no animosity. She was involved in our life but not overly involved, you know, that kind of stuff.
But, I was talking to a young person who is pregnant with her second child and her second boy and she’s like, I’m excited to be a boy mom. This is our last baby. I’m great. Happy being boy mom. My one concern is that none of my friends who are married, including myself, have great relationships with their mother-in-law.
Hmm, so it was just something. And I said, well, and I have, my younger daughter has a very serious boyfriend who they will, you know, she considers his mom her mother-in-law and they have a good relationship, but they grew up together. So it’s just interesting. So I love this work you’re doing LeAnn, because I think there’s just a, and I was fortunate I did not have that animosity.
But there’s just work to be done in accepting each other. I mean, and it’s not just coming from the mothers in-law, it’s also from the daughters-in-law. So, I don’t know, I just wanted to share that. I thought that was interesting coming from a 30 something year old perspective and wanting more, but not really necessarily knowing how to get there.
Yes, I love that. I love that you talk to her. And I think it is when we bring the conversation up, saying, you know, being a daughter-in-law or being a mother-in-law is tough. And here’s the things that I’m dealing with and noticing, yes, there’s some people that have a beautiful relationship and there’s a lot of people who don’t and struggle.
And so figuring out how to navigate it. But if we keep it inside and never share anything, then it’s hard to, yeah. And there’s so much. I keep saying freedom, but there’s so much comfort, I think, or relief and just saying things out loud sometimes. You know, to someone you feel safe with.
Exactly. So do you have any good jokes about mother-in-law or daughter-in-law? That could be something for one of your… Because you know, my husband’s nearing retirement age and it’s not really a joke about my mother-in-law, but something I learned from my mother-in-law was that retirement means half the money and twice the husband.
And I’m like, I just don’t find that incentivizing, you know? But anyway, and that was not original to her, but I, and she, she shared that with me. When her husband retired. I love it. Cute. Yeah, that’s a whole new way of dealing with. Yeah, having husband around a whole lot more.
Yes, exactly. Oh, I love it. Well, is there anything else that you’d like to share and where can our audience go to find you and listen to your podcast and if you have any comedian shows, anything like that you wanna share?
Yeah, well I’m based in Dallas, Texas, so, you can, I’ve done a little traveling with comedy, but if you’re in the Dallas Metroplex, you know, check me out on Instagram.
My name is Darcy Christ Comedy on Instagram, and my last name is spelled like Christ. So it’s D-A-R-C-Y-C-H-R-I-S-T Comedy. Okay, my schedule’s always there. And then, also Read the Room Podcast is on all the platforms and it’s with Darcy, Madison and Jacqueline. And that’s about it. That’s where you can find us.
We just started the podcast and we just published our second episode this week and it’s been really fun having this project with my adult girls. We’re really, we’re close anyway, but it’s just, we’re like, if no one ever listens, it’s something fun we’re doing together and it’s been fun.
We’re kind of talking about like memories that I, of my childhood, you know, stories from my life that I think they know automatically because they’re my daughters, which is not necessarily true. And then kind of talking about things that happen in their lives that, it happened a lot differently than I thought they happened.
So kind of stuff like that. And we’re kind of, we’re kind of funny. Aw, I cannot wait to listen. And what a great way to connect with your daughters. Yeah. I mean, I love that so much, Darcy. Because just, you know, sharing things and memories and exactly, like they’re totally different from one person to another. Like, oh that’s not quite how that really happened. And yeah, it’s fun.
My older daughter is, has also started standup com comedy, so people who like saw us interacting are like, your dynamic is as mother, daughter is kind of unique. So they’re like, you need to start a podcast. I’m like, well, we gotta get Jacqueline in this too.
My youngest daughter, she’s the funniest and she’s not doing comedy. So there well, we gotta get you out to Georgia too, man. That’s awesome. Or I need to come to Dallas and yeah lives, so that’d be cool. That’ll be fun.
It’s been great, and I will say on a personal level, starting comedy at standup comedy at 60 has been, it’s added so much to my life. Because it’s, especially after COVID, just, I wasn’t out in the world as much, you know, with coaching and everything. I have a ton of virtual friends all over the country, but like getting out, and like finding a community that’s all kind of working on the same thing and has a con, you know, and we’re all just kind of the right amount of weird maybe, I don’t know. But it’s been a great addition to my life in this stage. So it’s been a lot of fun.
I love that so much. Well, I think laughter, I’ve been learning a ton of stuff about nervous system things and I think laughter can just help us regulate things and calm us down and just the humor. So I love that you are sharing that with everyone’s so awesome.
It’s been a lot of fun. A lot. It’s a vulnerability rollercoaster, which is good. It’s great, especially when you’re on the peaks of it, when you’re about to go down. Well, I don’t know. It’s been a great learning experience for me and fun. Lots of fun.
And I love that you’re choosing to, you chose to start it at 60. It just reminds us you’re not too old to start anything. Yeah, and it’s something I wanted to do for a decades, you know, really. I would’ve been there. And finally it just. Timing was right. Apparently so. Ah, I love that. That’s awesome. Alright, well, tell us what your favorite question or quote about love is and how have you used it for yourself and in your relationships.
Okay. I don’t have an author for this, but this is my favorite quote about, well love, I guess, it goes: “You can’t hate yourself into a version of yourself you can love.” So when you’re wanting to change something, it’s all about not making yourself wrong, right? Like, don’t make yourself wrong for where you are. ‘Cause we’re doing the best we can.
You know, it’s kind of like, know better do better, you know, all these self-help people. But yeah, we can’t. You know, and I was a weight loss coach, so I’m like, you can’t hate your heavier self and then help and then decide to love yourself. You’ve gotta love yourself along the way.
It just doesn’t turn on when you kind of reach a goal. That is beautiful. And I think that is, I love that ’cause that’s the basis of what we do in Connection Crew. It starts within, it starts with loving yourself first. So I love that you can’t hate yourself into a version of yourself you can love, something to think about. Beautiful.
Yeah. I dunno, there’s a whole bunch of inner child work. And would you think of that, talk that way about a friend who was in this, your same exact situation kind of stuff is a helpful way to be like No, I would never say what I say to myself to someone else.
Right, yeah. And that’s a great reminder and that, I think that’s a very simple way to remember that, would I say this to someone I really care about? If I wouldn’t, then I’m not gonna talk about like that to me. So would I say this to one of my children? No, right. Yeah. Ah, so beautiful.
Thank you so much, Darcy, for sharing your insights and your love, and your humor and all the things. I love it. So thank you. Thanks for sharing yourself with the world, and I’m so glad to see you. It’s been too long. I know, well, here’s too nothing to fix, connection, and love. Have a good one y’all. Awesome. Thanks LeAnn. Bye-bye. Thank you.
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