The amazing Ashley Wright @strokesoffreedom is a journaling coach, lover of life, and queen of all things fun!
Ashley will be teaching us in Connection Crew on June 3rd and answering all your journaling questions. Join Connection Crew today for Ashley’s wisdom and much more!
Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law podcast. I’m relationship expert and master certified coach LeAnn Austin. I’ll help you create more connection, love, and fun with others, yourself, and your daughter-in-law.
Hey y’all, welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law, episode #172: Love Strokes with Ashley Wright
I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives and their relationships. We have the amazing Ashley sharing some beautiful love and relationship insights with us today. All right, Ashley, tell us a little bit about you.
Well, first off, thank you so much for having me on LeAnn. This is going to be such a delightful conversation. I just already know it. So about me again, I’m Ashley. I am the journaling coach by career. But as a person, I love people, I love serving, I love a good giggle, like I’m always laughing, always smiling. By trade, so to speak, I was a social worker for right under 10 years, so I did that for a number of years, and then decided I didn’t want to do that anymore, and so I started doing more administrative work, which is how I landed at the most previous job that I had, but I decided, I was like, yeah, I don’t think I want to do that in that way anymore.
And so I just let myself venture out. So I started working for an event planning and catering company. And from there just continue to grow in my own business and learn lots of things. I am just a lover of life. I love all things fun, all things cinematic. Like I love theater. I love movies and film. But yeah, all around, that’s me. I just, I love life, love people, and I love journaling and love talking about it.
I love that so much. And Ashley has always been so kind and good to me, and I am forever thankful. If I was ever like, Oh no, what do I do? Okay. Just ask Ashley. It’s going to be okay. So when you said people and you serve a hundred million. Yes, she does. She is so good at that. So thank you. Yeah, of course.
All right. So how do you incorporate love into your business and life and how does that impact your relationships?
So for one, this question to me is so powerful because I think if for me with love being at the core and love being at the center. It started like internally first and it’s an ongoing thing. Like I’m finding new things that I get to love about myself. And so what I found is when there’s so much self love and self acceptance, I’m able to pour that back out into my business, into the clients that I serve and to my family and friends, strangers.
And so I think that for me, love is almost like automatically incorporated. I think whatever is inside of us, of course, builds out into those other spaces. And so the more that I study love and study what it really means to love a person, right, that being an action, that being the way it’s manifested and shown in so many different ways. And we’ll get into that just with the quote that I have for today too. But yeah, I start with understanding. That the human experience requires love, right? Yeah. You can respond to that if you want to. I feel like I saw your brain go.
I just love the fact that you’re even intentional about learning more about love. That’s amazing. I mean, anything else about that? I love that. I think it’s like we, I don’t know that many of us are like taught about love, right? Like we can hear it said and we can see it in action, of course.
I’m like, for me, and this is something I’ve shared before, I didn’t grow up in a household that was lovey dovey and overly affectionate and oh, we’re going to have dinner together. We’re going to do all the things, but I knew I was loved. Right, based on the actions, based on how my mom and my stepdad showed up based on how they provided for us, right? And so I think that with that, there wasn’t like a here’s how you love a person everyone receives love differently, right everyone reflects love back to the world differently.
And so I think it’s something worth studying specific to people, right? So even when I think about my honey when I think about him, I may love him in a different way than I love my mom. There’s a different type of relationship that’s there. There’s different needs, different desires that are there, and so I think it’s like, so when I say studying love, it’s studying the people that I love, that I care for.
So that way I can then decide, am I loving them in a way that is suitable for them? Am I loving from a space that is intentional and beautiful for me as well and not a space of obligation? So, I think it starts, it’s very much an inside job first of letting myself see that there’s parts of me that I’m still growing in love with.
And then from there, it helps them to be, to give more grace to people who are also having their human experience. I believe that everyone is lovable, everyone’s deserving of love. I don’t think that that’s, and people are easy to love. I sincerely think that people are very easy to love. And when you have that mindset, it just pours out from all the other spaces.
Oh my goodness. You are such a beautiful example of this too. Like, I mean, Ashley’s telling us all this stuff, but she lives it. She does it. I mean, you can feel that when you’re with her. So you can feel that listening to this podcast. So anyway, I love you, I love you too.
So amazing. All right. So tell us something that you love about you and why.
So I love my brain. And I have to grow into loving it. I think that I am a natural thinker. I also think a lot and sometimes I overthink, and I grew to really love and appreciate how I think, because I realized that it’s unique to me. And how amazing is that, right? To have a brain that is my own, that is unique to me, that comes up with all these thoughts and ideas. And because I’ve seen how other people also love my brain. And it has helped me to love it more.
So, by nature, like I was very much that little girl who on her report card, like, oh she’s so brilliant, but she talks a little too much. Like she’s so insightful, you know, all of those things. And I used to think that those were not great. Right. I think because of how they were presented to me, like, oh well, I’m too conversational. I’m too insightful. I’m too this or too that.
And so once I was around the people who appreciated how I thought and who made space for my thinking and who shared how, how my opinions or my insight helped to improve their life or change a situation that they were in or help for them to think differently. The appreciation I had for how unique my thought process is, it grew that much more.
So I love my brain. I love how I think. I love just, I love thinking. I love just really letting my brain like wonder and think about possibility, but also think about growth and think about, you know, memories and fun moments that I’ve had. So I love, love, love my brain. Because it’s all mine. It’s unique to me.
That is so powerful. And what a perfect thing to love. I mean, yeah, that’s amazing. Yeah, I think so too because, as we know, the brain is going to offer so many different things to us at any given time. And so I just love, even like the not so great things like that it offers me because again, it’s unique to me.
And then I get to choose, you know, how much of that thought I want to entertain and all of those things. But I think the more that we embrace like who we are as individuals and how we operate, I think it just releases a different type of freedom for us to love ourselves like that much more. The brain is like the powerhouse, you know, so I’m like, gotta love it. It’s there and I want for it to keep functioning.
That’s right. Oh, that was awesome. All right. Well, I love talking about connection with others and ourselves. And I think the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law relationship is packed full of examples. So any thoughts about that relationship?
I think a lot about it, and I’m not a daughter-in-law yet. I do not have a mother-in-law yet, but I think that, so my friends and I talk a lot about being like a girl’s girl. And that essentially means supporting women, loving women, like dating women, even right, like in terms of just like me and my girlfriends go on girlfriend dates and we have the time of our lives, you know?
And so when I think about being a girl’s girl, that is what I envisioned for the mother and daughter relationship. Like, how awesome is it? That as a young woman I can have this other woman that I get to look up to and learn from and grow with, and learn her son better because let’s be honest, she knows it a little better than I do.
I think that there’s so much room for that type of relationship to be mending and I say that from a place of there are some mothers who are extremely nurturing and loving and kind. And every woman didn’t grow up with that type of relationship with her own mom right, and so I just think about the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship being one that’s like fruitful and one that is exciting to be a part of. So I think that it leaves, I think that more people if they let themselves experience love in the way, that we can understand it.
And again, maybe later in quote five or in question five, but I think that if people really let themselves think about what it means to be a mother and then what it means to be a woman. That could, the woman connection is going to automatically build between those two women if they allow for that to be so. I just think that there’s so much like beauty and gentleness and love that can flow in that relationship from a supportive standpoint, right?
If my mother-in-law has been married for X number of years, there’s some stuff she’s learned. I can glean from that. I can understand that I’m not isolated in my experience, you know, as a new wife, you know, as it relates to her son. But yeah, I think that that’s a relationship that, I don’t know, I think LeAnn, it’s a relationship that I want for more people to enjoy.
Yes. I remember even when I did my, there’s a Dear Future Husband journal that I published in 2020. And I titled it that way, it was titled Dear Future Husband, The Waiting Space Journal. And I wrote it for women who were in their waiting space and they knew they desired marriage, but helping them to know like, while you’re waiting, that’s not a punishment, right? Like this is a great time, explore yourself, learn life.
But in the journal, it wasn’t really even about him. It was about her as a woman. And also I remember putting in like, you know, write a prayer out for your in-laws. Who do you desire for them to be? How do you want for them to show up in your life? Start to build that relationship and connection before it even happens.
Because it can be, some people hate interacting with their in-laws. Oh no, we have to do this. That can be a relationship that’s very exciting, and one that’s thrilling, and one that brings again beautiful fruit into your life.
So I want for it to be that more people think about that connection being something that’s valuable something that is filled with grace and mercy and so much love and compassion, and mentorship, so I could go on and on. Yes that is that, when I think about that specific relationship.
I think that it can be one that is mutually like beneficial, where the mom is learning from like her new daughter-in-law as well, but that they’re building a relationship that has a foundation of like the love and respect that they have for the man who’s at the center of that too, you know, like he’s the reason they’re even brought together. So yeah.
Well, I love the journal that you’re talking about. I mean, just the pre-work and being like, okay, how can I prepare myself instead of listening to, oh well, I’m just not gonna like my mother-in-law, or whatever. You know what I mean? So I’ve just decided that before I’ve even met her, you know?
No, I’ve decided ahead of time like that I love her, that she’s the perfect mother-in-law for me. That she and I will get along and we’ll have, you know, respect for each other, that we’ll encourage each other, because I think that some people also believe that it has to be best friends forever.
It doesn’t have to be that, but it can still be filled with love, right? You can still anticipate with like excitement, like oh, I get to see my mother-in-law today or, you know, whatever it is.
But I think people maybe overlook the value that can be in those types of relationships for sure, because of so many people having like horrible quote unquote, like mother-in-law stories or daughter-in-law stories and things of that nature, but I think it’s beautiful.
Yeah. Thank you. And I love the girl’s girl perspective, too. What a great way. I mean, so many insights, even not having a mother-in-law at this stage in your life. It’s still like, there’s so much value that you just shared for all of us to soak in. So thank you. Yeah. You’re welcome.
Well, is there anything else that you want to share? And where can our audience go to find out more about you?
I think the very first thing that comes to my mind right now is, and I don’t think I’ve ever said this phrase, but like, a self love inventory is all that comes to my brain right now. And you can maybe take that and run with it LeAnn. Cause I don’t know, but that’s just what comes to me in this moment.
But to really take inventory, take stock of what do I want to love about myself more? What do I want to appreciate about myself more? But I think taking inventory of like, where am I like on the self love meter?
Because again, and like the Bible just talks a lot about, well not a lot, there’s one particular scripture where it’s like, you know, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So it’s almost like a how I feel about me. Like, am I overly critical of me? How much grace, like self grace, self compassion, self love, like how can all of those things just be examined?
From a space of curiosity, from a space of love, because I want to love me so much more. I want to love the random things about me. I’m on this journey now, like I’m just loving my hair. I am loving my hair and doing its own thing. I love it too. Yeah, thank you. I’m like, how can I just embrace all of the things about me that I may naturally want to reject or try to quote unquote fix. There’s nothing broken.
So if you approach the way you love yourself from a place that I’m already whole, I’m already enough. I’m already just brilliant and beautiful in my own way. Like, I think that that transforms how you interact with yourself and how you talk to yourself. So if nothing else, really do a self love inventory of like, where am I prioritizing that love for myself? That’d be the main thing. That is so good. So, so good.
And where can they go to find you and follow you? Oh, yes, thank you. So on Instagram is going to be the very best because from there, and that’s Strokes of Freedom, so like a pen stroke, Strokes of Freedom. Just because from there you’ll be able to join my email list and see different events that I have coming up in the area, any virtual events that are going on. And that also links out to everything else. My website of course is strokesoffreedom.com. So that’s just www. strokesoffreedom. com and same thing, all the information is there. Any sort of guides that I may have, all that stuff will link out from my website as well. Perfect. And I’ll put all this in the show notes too. Excellent.
All right, so what is your favorite quote about love and how have you used it for yourself and in your relationships? Okay, so the very first thing that came to my mind was a scripture. And I’m going to, I’ll read it, it’s 1st Corinthians 13, four through eight. And that’s the one that, you know, if most maybe are familiar with it: “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Then it just goes on. But years ago I remember someone, I don’t know if I was at a Bible study where I was, but they were talking about taking out the word love and putting your name in instead. Whew, honey. I said, oh, I’m not there yet. . So with that is like, can I say Ashley is patient? Ashley is kind. Ashley does not envy. Like really allowing for that. So I think that that is for me. We’re more like that transformation comes into where I’m like, when I think about love and that’s what I say, people are easy to love.
Once you realize that everyone’s having their own human experience and everyone is worthy of being patient with and being kind towards every person on this earth. And I think that’s how it shows up in my life. Like having something that feels. Sometimes far fetched, but very practical. I can be kind. It doesn’t cost me anything to be kind. And the more that we let love like kind of run things for us and lead us, it’s amazing what spills out into our relationships again with ourselves, but also with those around us.
So this is how love shows up in relationship for me. This is how love is tested in a relationship for me to, but yeah, it’s like, switching out love for my name and if I really want to exemplify love, like what’s my example of that going to be. Right. And so I think it’s like love also shows up and letting, and this is such a huge lesson that I’ve had over the past year or so letting people show up fully as who they are.
Love is also like total acceptance of a person’s intricacies of their, of their thoughts and their brains and all of that, but hey, coming from a place of full acceptance and not criticism or, oh, you need to change this. Love is letting you be. Love is loving you as you are and loving you into whoever you’re growing to be as well. So that’s how it shows up for me.
I love, love, love that so much and, and what a beautiful scripture and example to replace your name in there, right? Throughout the whole Bible sometimes I’m like, Ooh, but yeah, I think this one is just like it kind of just brings us down to earth in a way of just like it, I think so many things get over complicated. Love gets so over complicated when it can be super simple. This is what love is. This is what it is. If we let ourselves go back to that as the core, this is what love is. It’s easy. It’s easy to do. It’s easy to demonstrate. It’s easy to show. It’s easy to receive. That’s the thing. That’s a whole different podcast episode, I think.
The reception of love, I think, is human. Sometimes we reject that or back away from it, but, you know, it can be intimidating and fearful to think about experiencing. And the Bible also speaks about, you know, perfect love casts out all fear. So that to me says, like, love is also calming, love is peaceful, right? Love is just, love is delightful. This is preaching to me, honey. I got this. I needed to hear a lot of what I’m saying.
This is so giving me goosebumps too. I love this so much. Same. Yes, and just the overall, when you said, you know, love never fails. Something to think about. Just remembering that whatever we do from that place of love is, is beyond helpful. So many, so many tender mercies. Automatic victory. Yes. Whatever we do from the place of love is an automatic victory. A hundred percent.
Well, I am so excited because those of you who are even remotely or even not remotely curious about journaling, because I know some people are like, wait a second, I don’t know about journaling. I don’t know what to do, or I don’t know how to start, or I don’t have time for that or whatever.
Well, we are so blessed because on June 3rd, Ashley will guide us in Connection Crew, answering all your journaling questions, and she’ll show you how powerful and easy that journaling can be. So easy. Yes.
Now’s the perfect time to join Connection Crew and don’t miss the chance to connect with Ashley. I mean it’s like, I’m gonna cry, it’s amazing. You want to be there to connect with her. There’s so many benefits of journaling and incorporating more of that love into your life.
So thank you, Ashley, so much for being here and sharing your love insights. And I’m just so glad to have you here. Awesome. Thank you, LeAnn. This has been so great. Thank you so much. Ah, my pleasure.
All right, y’all. Here’s to journaling, to self love inventory, so fascinating. To grace and love and connection and all the things. Have a good one y’all.
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Thanks so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed this episode and want to create more fun, connection, and love into your relationships, check out my Connection Crew membership and One-on-One Coaching programs. This is where I share practical strategies to help you deepen your relationships.
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