Choosing between a whole pan of no bake cookies and a few of them, has become a little bit easier when I pause to ask myself this question…..
Does this help me or harm me?
Here’s why this question matters in relationships with others and ourselves.
Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law Podcast, where my mother in law, relationship expert and master certified coach, LeAnn Austin, will help you create more love and connection with your daughter-in-law and everyone else you care about.
Hey y’all, you’re listening to Lovin My Daughter-in-law, Episode #90: Help or Harm
I was recently talking to a client about her daughter-in-law. She was wondering if her continuing to do weekly family dinners was actually helpful or harmful. As we explored this together, this mama didn’t really enjoy doing dinners with her entire family every week. Sure, she loved seeing her grandkids and being with her son and daughter-in-law, but she was feeling a little resentment.
She was spending a lot of time thinking about and prepping meals each week. She was skipping some of the things she wanted to do in order to be with all of her family this frequently. She noticed the family coming late, daughter-in-law not seeming real excited to be there, and even the grandkids wanting to leave right after dinner. This mama thought that because her family had weekly dinners growing up, then this was what she needed to do. That carrying on this tradition was necessary.
Have you ever been in a situation where you question if it actually helps or rather it harms? I love to ask myself and my clients questions. I truly believe each one of us knows what’s best for our unique life. And when we can slow things down and tap into our inner wisdom, our intuition, our gut, whatever you call it, then we can create the life we truly desire.
I’ve talked about love frequently and how asking ourselves, What would love do? Or if I loved me, what would I do now? I think these are great questions to ask ourselves every day.
Another question that I love to ask: Does this help me or harm me? For example, in the case of the cute mama and her weekly family dinner, when she started asking herself, Does this help me or harm me? She discovered that doing weekly get togethers was actually harming her. She was not doing things that she really wanted to do. She was feeling a lot of dread and overwhelm and it was actually harming the relationship with her daughter-in-law, her son, and her grandkids.
So by asking herself the question, does this help or harm me? She realized that a monthly family dinner would be much more helpful. She got excited about it, had fun planning and making the meal. And interestingly enough, her family loved it so much more too.
So give this question a try with any decision you’re making. Does this help me or harm me? I was going to eat a bunch of no bakes recently and paused and asked myself, Does this help or harm me? I quickly realized that yes, it would taste good for a few minutes. But having 3 cookies instead of 15 would be much more helpful to my body.
Whatever situation you’re in or decision you’re making, ask yourself: Does this help or harm me? As I’ve talked to my family and clients, this one simple question has created more love for themselves and others, as they’ve listened to and done what is helpful rather than harmful for themselves.
So the takeaway from today, ask the question: Does this help? OR Does this harm? Hmm, something to think about.
Have a good one y’all, and here’s to asking ourselves questions and love. If this podcast resonates with you, share it with a friend and leave a review.
If you enjoyed this podcast, check out LeAnn’s Lovin My Daughter-in-law Program, where she coaches and teaches a variety of ways to have more fun and connection in our relationships.
LeAnn also shares the five secrets she uses to create a beautiful relationship with me and her other daughter-in-law. She’s the real deal. I highly recommend you check this out.
And, if you want one easy question you can keep in your back pocket and use to increase the love you feel for your daughter-in-law today, go to leannaustin.com and get the one question.
