I was sharing my frustration with my husband, and he asked me if I’d like some coaching on that😂
I thought this would be very entertaining, so I agreed. He then asked me a question that I’d never heard before….
Do you suffer or buffer?
Buffering and Urges will be our October focus in Lovin My DIL Program. I created an awesome acronym to teach all about urges, how to allow them, and how to minimize your buffering.
With the holidays fast approaching, knowing how to allow urges that tend to come up more frequently this time of year AND minimize the buffering, will create so much more fun and connection with family and friends, rather than dread, frustration, and eggshell walking.
Join us in Lovin My DIL Program, such an amazing community of people strengthening their relationships with others and themselves, as well as their mental & emotional muscles💙
Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law Podcast, where my mother in law, relationship expert and master certified coach, LeAnn Austin, will help you create more love and connection with your daughter in law and everyone else you care about.
Hey y’all, you’re listening to Lovin My Daughter-in-law, Episode #87: Suffer or Buffer
I was sitting on my couch recently sharing my frustration about something to Jeff. He asked me if I’d like some coaching on that. Now I started to giggle. A little side note here, Jeff is very supportive of everything I do. And he does not understand why people would want to talk about what they’re thinking or feeling all the time. He thinks feelings are a little sappy. Which is kind of funny, because Jeff is very tender and compassionate.
Anyway, I said, “Sure hon, why don’t you coach me?” Thinking that this would be very entertaining. He then said, “So, how do you feel about that?” I laughed and said something I don’t even remember. He then said, “Do you suffer or do you buffer?” I was really surprised by that question. I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone that before, and I really liked it.
So today we’re going to talk about buffering and suffering. Now buffering can mean a lot of different things. I’m going to teach you what it means in life coaching. Buffering is a term used to describe a common behavior where individuals engage in activities or habits as a way to avoid or numb themselves from negative emotions, uncomfortable situations, or personal challenges.
These behaviors serve as a buffer, temporarily shielding us from emotional discomfort or stress. You may have noticed this when you’re anxious, sad, angry, or frustrated. Instead of facing these emotions directly, allowing them, and feeling them, it’s much easier to buffer instead.
Buffering includes activities like overeating, excessive drinking, mindless scrolling on social media, binge watching TV, or compulsive shopping. Buffering is a great way to distract ourselves, to procrastinate, and avoid taking responsibility for our actions or decisions. So it makes complete sense why we buffer.
Over time, however, buffering can lead to negative consequences, such as physical health problems, strained relationships, financial issues, and a diminished sense of self control and personal growth.
Now, suffering refers to the emotional or psychological pain, distress, or discomfort that individuals experience as a result of various life challenges. Such as loss, stress, conflict, or difficult emotions like sadness, anxiety, or anger. Suffering is a natural part of the human experience and can serve as a signal that something needs attention or resolution in our lives.
So when thinking about suffer or buffer, buffering often is a way to avoid suffering. Engaging in buffering activities may create a short lived sense of pleasure or distraction from emotional pain. However, this relief is temporary and doesn’t address the underlying causes of suffering.
Paradoxically, buffering can contribute to a cycle of suffering. While it may provide momentary relief, it can lead to negative consequences such as guilt, regret, physical health issues, or relationship problems. These consequences can, in turn, perpetuate or intensify the original suffering.
Now simply knowing this is huge. When we recognize where we’re buffering and why we’re suffering, we develop greater self awareness, build emotional resilience, and strengthen our mental and emotional muscles.
We are designed as humans to seek pleasure, to avoid pain, and to be efficient. So it makes complete sense why we buffer or why we want to buffer.
Buffering or avoiding emotions doesn’t make the emotion go away. It just makes us not see or feel it. We pretend it isn’t there, but the feeling is there, and there’s a reason it’s there. The suffering is there to teach us something and we want to find out what it is.
In October, our focus will be on buffering and allowing urges. I have an awesome acronym that I created to teach all about urges, how to allow them, and how to minimize our buffering.
Join us in Lovin My Daughter-in-law program. This is an amazing community of people strengthening their relationships with others and with themselves, as well as their mental and emotional muscles. Click on this link, or message me for more information.
With the holidays fast approaching, knowing how to allow urges that tend to come up more frequently this time of year, and how to minimize the buffering will create so much more fun and connection with family and friends, rather than dread, frustration, and eggshell walking.
Look forward to seeing you in Lovin My Daughter-in-law community. And remember, you don’t have to have a daughter-in-law to join. This program will help you strengthen your relationship with anyone, including yourself.
I love the quote from Viktor Frankl: “Suffering presents us with a challenge: to find our goals and purposes in our lives that make even the worst situation worth living through.” Hmm, something to think about.
Have a good one y’all, and here’s to suffer, buffer, and love. If this podcast resonates with you, share it with a friend and leave a review.
If you enjoyed this podcast, check out LeAnn’s Lovin My Daughter-in-law program where she coaches and teaches a variety of ways to have more fun and connection in our relationships. LeAnn also shares the five secrets she uses to create a beautiful relationship with me and her other daughter-in-law. She’s the real deal. I highly recommend you check this out.
And if you want one easy question you can keep in your back pocket and use to increase the love you feel for your daughter-in-law today, go to leannaustin.com and get the one question.
