Ideal versus Perfect ~ there are some big differences and kudos to @corinne_crabtree for teaching me the distinction💙
Take a listen to hear some “ideal” ways to improve the relationship with your daughter-in-law or anyone you care about.
Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law Podcast, where my mother-in-law, relationship expert and master certified coach LeAnn Austin, will help you create more love and connection with your daughter-in-law and everyone else who care about.
Hey y’all, you’re listening to Lovin My Daughter-in-law, episode #77: What’s Your Ideal?
Right now I’m in advanced training with Corinne Crabtree, and it is amazing. I love so many things about Corinne. She over delivers on everything, and I am learning a ton.
Recently we talked about ideal versus perfect. Corinne shared that ideal is your standard of excellence and what’s right for your particular situation. And perfectionism is displeasure with anything that is not perfect or doesn’t meet extremely high standards.
I’ve been thinking about this in regards to our relationships with our daughter-in-law, or anyone that we care about. Sometimes we think we should show up perfectly when we’re with our daughter-in-law and that she should do things a whole lot better too.
When it comes to perfectionism, there is a lot of blame going on. Judgment for ourselves like, if I would have just done what daughter-in-law wanted, even though I had something very important going on, then our relationship would be better. Or, blaming daughter-in-law. If she would just stop being so snappy, then this vacation would actually be fun.
Notice when the judgment and blame is coming up for you. We all do this. It’s part of being a human, and when we’re simply aware of it, we begin to realize that loving feels a lot better than judging.
One other thing about perfectionism, when we’re trying to make things perfect, we often overly focus on what’s happening now.
For example, daughter-in-law’s late again for dinner. Now the food is cold and everything is ruined. Rather than, sure it would be nice if my son and his family could show up on time, but being a little late probably won’t ruin everything. We can still eat and have a conversation and maybe play a game. Looking at the big picture rather than the few minutes of lateness.
So back to your ideal. What is your ideal? What is your standard of excellence, and how are you making that happen for you? Are you showing up as the kind of person you want to be?
Not perfectly because no one is perfect, but figuring out how to live your ideal life. This is different for everyone, so I encourage y’all to take some time and really think about what your ideal is and how are you moving towards it? Not expecting perfect from you or your daughter-in-law may be a good place to start.
I love this quote by Albert Einstein: “The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been kindness, beauty, and truth.” Hmmm, something to think about.
Have a good one y’all ~ and here’s to ideals and love.
If you enjoyed this podcast, check out LeAnn’s Lovin My Daughter-in-law Program where she coaches and teaches a variety of ways to have more fun and connection in our relationships. LeAnn also shares the five secrets she uses to create a beautiful relationship with me and her other daughter-in-law. She’s the real deal. I highly recommend you check this out.