Episode 60: Boundaries & Sensitivity with Angela Veesenmeyer

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You’re listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you’ll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sided tidbit of love, I’m your host, LeAnn Austin 

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Thank you so much Uncle Jumbo, and to all of you who are leaving the reviews. Remember when we do this, it helps other people hear tidbits of love. Now onto the show. 

Welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #60: Boundaries and Sensitivity with Angela Veesenmeyer 

I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives.

We have the amazing Angela sharing some beautiful love insights with us today. Alright Angela, briefly introduce yourself. 

Hi, I’m Angela Veesenmeyer. I am a full-time practicing pediatric infectious disease physician, and also a life coach for physicians. 

Oh, that is amazing. Like those two things together – wow. How did you combine that? 

Okay, well I’ve been a physician for almost 20 years, and I got to a point in my career where I was sort of struggling with burnout and wondering what I should do next.  But I didn’t really want to leave medicine, but I couldn’t figure out how to stay in medicine and be happy.

So then I hired a life coach, and I learned that I could be happy in medicine by changing the way I think about my job, and the way I think about my role as a physician.  The way I think about my time, and questioning a lot of the beliefs I had about what it means to be a physician. 

And so once I went through that process and realized what an impact it had on my life and my overall happiness and job satisfaction, I felt like I wanted to do the same for other people. So then I went and got certified as a life coach, and now I teach other physicians how to do what I learned to do. 

Oh, that is amazing. So cool, I love knowing a doctor too. Alright, so three questions for you today. The first one, how do you incorporate love into your business and/or your life? 

Okay, so this is one that I had to learn and I work really hard at. The way that I do that is through setting boundaries. So, setting boundaries is really key to work/life balance and sustainability with a full-time career and a personal life. So what I discovered initially was that when I tried to set boundaries, actually felt terrible. I felt guilty, I felt ashamed, I felt selfish, and what I figured out was that I had to consider myself worthy of a person setting a boundary for. 

So I had to consider myself worth it to work through those uncomfortable feelings, to be able to still set and hold the boundary, because I knew if I could get through those uncomfortable feelings, that on the other side was a life that I wanted to create for myself. 

But I had to love myself enough to stay with that discomfort and not just say, oh well screw it, I’m not gonna set that boundary. I’m just gonna keep giving and giving and giving. So that’s how I incorporate love. And so even though from the outside, it might look like I am being rigid. Some people might consider me selfish. Some people might not agree with the boundaries that I set, but from the inside it feels like I am setting those out of a deep love and respect for myself. 

That is so beautiful, and I’m sure that trickles into how you’re setting things up for your family, and your patients, and everything, right?

Oh yeah, for sure. And it’s reflected in how I show up at work too, both as a physician and as a coach. Because when I hold myself in the highest regard, then I can also hold other people in that same highest regard.  

When we take care of ourselves, it’s so much easier to take care of everyone else, right? 

It is. And you know, as a physician, we are conditioned to always put the patient first, put the patient before ourselves. And that doesn’t work in the long term. And that is why so many physicians are burnt out, and the physician’s suicide rate is much higher than the general population, because we are taught that it’s a hierarchy.  That it has to be a hierarchy, that there’s somebody above somebody else. Our patients are supposed to be above ourselves. 

What I have learned is that when I take care of myself, as well as I take care of my patients, then both of us get to win. Both of us get to benefit from that. 

Yes. Oh, I love that you’ve discovered that, and you’re helping other physicians with that as well. Yeah. So good. That’s key. Yeah. Excellent. Alright, number two, what is something you love about you and why? 

Okay, so the thing that I love about me is also the thing that I used to not like about myself. So I’ve actually turned it into a positive. I am super, super sensitive. And so when I was growing up, I always hated that cause I was like, ugh, I always get my feelings hurt. I always find myself very uncomfortable when other people are hurt or upset or uncomfortable. It was like I felt those same emotions, and I always wished that I could just be less sensitive. Because it would’ve been so much more comfortable, right? Like going through adolescence.

You know, when I became an adult, it was the same thing. I just felt everything so deeply and I wished that I didn’t.  Through coaching though, that’s actually become something that I love about myself, because along with the deep, uncomfortable feelings that I feel because I’m sensitive, I also feel the deep love and connection and empathy and joy, not only for myself, but I get to feel that for other people around me too, because I’m so sensitive and in tune with those emotions.

So some people would say that I’m an empath. And so it’s that like, just this deep connection and recognition about other people’s feelings and what they’re going through. And so now, I love that about myself. I love that I’m so good at reading a room. I’m very good at picking out who is feeling out of place or uncomfortable.  Or who’s feeling shy, who’s feeling a bit slighted, who had their feelings hurt, like I’m very aware of that, and I actually really like that about myself now, because then I can seek those people out and connect with them in a loving way.

That is so amazing that you made that your superpower. Yeah, it was something that you didn’t like so much, but now it is your superpower because what an incredible thing to be able to read a room like that, and to seek connection with those that you feel drawn to. 

Yeah. I just, I love it. And it’s funny because my son has that same trait, he’s very sensitive. So now I’m trying to teach him, to feel his feelings, and try not to get overwhelmed by them.  But that it’s okay to feel all the feelings, and that it’s actually a good thing for him. So I’m trying to sort of pass on the lessons to him cuz he’s the same way.

Yeah. Learn it a little bit sooner than you did as well. That’s so great. Yeah. Okay, so before I ask you the last question, is there anything else you’d like to share, and where can our audience go to find out more about you? 

Yeah, so I would just love to share that loving yourself looks so different than you think it’s going to, and it looks so different than you think it maybe should. I don’t think that loving yourself means necessarily like getting massages every week, and taking bubble baths, and getting your nails done, and going shopping. Like to me, loving yourself means checking in with yourself first and foremost, and having your own voice be the most revered voice that you hear.

Ah, I love that. The most revered voice. That is so good, Angela. Yeah. So you can find me, my website is themindmanagementcoach.com, so don’t forget to put ‘the’ at the beginning. Okay. And on Instagram, angelaveesenmeyermd. And then my Facebook business page is also angelaveesenmeyermd.

Excellent, and I’ll put these in the show notes as well. Okay, great. Alright, so last question. What is your favorite quote about love? 

My favorite quote, it’s actually my favorite quote currently. I’m sure it will change as time goes on and I learn more, but it’s, “may we be excited by the impossible and move through any cynicism or hopelessness to emerge on the other side, steady with love, persistence, and hope.” Hmmm, something to think about. 

Thank you so much, Angela, for sharing your tidbits of love with us. Of course. Thank you, LeAnn. Have a good one y’all, and here’s to sensitivity and love. 

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What would it feel like to finish your goals, enjoy your relationships, especially with your daughter-in-law, appreciate your body, and embrace being you? Join my Lovin Me program today, and see yourself in a whole new way. 

You’re already really good at loving others, I’ll help you become an expert at loving you. More information at leannaustin.com

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