Who’s usually in charge when YOU make a decision?
Hey y’all. Welcome to More Lovin, the podcast that brings more laughter, light and love into everyday life. I’m LeAnn Austin, and around here, love isn’t just something we talk about, it’s something we practice through the More Lovin Method. MOVE. CONNECT. LOVE. Three simple choices that can change your day, and over time, your life. Let’s practice a little more lovin. Here we go!
Today’s episode #245: Head + Heart ~ The More Lovin Way to Make Decisions
Have you ever been completely convinced you should do something, but something inside you was saying, Uh, I don’t think so? Or maybe you’ve made a decision because your heart wanted it so badly, and then later your brain had a few very important things to say about it?
That’s why I love this quote from Bryce Courtenay: “Mix the head with the heart, and you’re ahead from the start.” I love that. Because what if the goal isn’t to choose between your head and your heart? Maybe getting them talking to each other is more beneficial.
Let’s start with your head. Sometimes we talk about our brains as if they’re the problem. Like, “I just need to stop overthinking.” “I need to get out of my head,” or, “I should just follow my heart.” But let’s give your brain a little credit. Your brain isn’t trying to ruin your fun. It’s trying to protect you. It’s trying to make sense of things, predict what’s coming, learn from your experiences, solve problems, and keep you safe.
Your head gives you logic, perspective, experience, planning, and helps us problem-solve. And sometimes that little voice saying, “Don’t do it,” is actually wisdom, and sometimes it’s fear. And learning the difference is part of becoming more connected to yourself.
Now let’s talk about your heart, because your heart has something important to contribute too. Your heart brings values, desire, meaning, connection, and joy. Think about it. What do you want that your brain keeps talking you out of? Maybe it’s starting something new, making a big change, having a difficult conversation, taking better care of yourself, saying yes to an adventure, or saying no to something that’s draining you.
Sometimes your head says, “That’s ridiculous,” and your heart says, “But that matters to me.” And this is where it gets really interesting. What if you listened to both? Instead of head versus heart, what if we practiced head and heart?
Let’s play with this a little bit. Think about a decision you’re making right now. It doesn’t have to be a huge life-changing decision. It could be something really simple. And ask yourself four questions.
We’re talking about your head and what do I know? Ask, what are the facts? What have I learned? What are the potential consequences? And what does my experience tell me?
Hmm, now the heart and what matters to me. Ask these four questions: What do I want? What do I value? What feels meaningful? What am I longing for?
Now, there are two more parts to add on to our head and heart that have been really life-changing for me.
First, your body. I want to add your body here because your body can give you information too. See what happens when you notice what is going on in your body.
Observing things like am I tense, relaxed, excited, heavy, energized, drained? And here’s an important distinction. Your body gives you information. It doesn’t necessarily give you instructions. A racing heart doesn’t automatically mean don’t do it. Maybe you’re scared, excited, or nervous. So instead of: My body said no, therefore it’s a no, try: My body is giving me some information. Let me get curious about it. Awareness of what is going on in our bodies can be so helpful.
And then there’s one more thing, our spirit. What am I being guided towards? For me, this is where faith comes into the conversation. What aligns with what I believe? What am I praying about? What feels peaceful? What am I being nudged towards?
And then what’s my next step? Not the entire plan, not the next 53 steps, just the next one.
So here’s a little practice you can actually use. The More Lovin Head, Heart, Body, Spirit Check-in.
When you’re facing a decision, ask your head, “What do I know?” Your heart, “What matters?” Your body, “What am I noticing?” Your spirit, “What am I being guided toward?” And then ask, “What would more lovin look like here?”
Because sometimes more lovin means yes, sometimes it means no, sometimes it means go, or rest, or have the conversation, or walk away. More lovin doesn’t always mean taking the easy or comfortable choice. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is the hard thing.
This has definitely played out in my own life. Starting my own life coaching business has created a lot of head versus heart moments for me. There have been things I’ve attempted where my head said, “LeAnn, this makes absolutely no sense,” and my heart has said, “Go.” And then there have been other times when my brain has given me some very logical things I needed to pay attention to, and my heart has said, “Uh, wait a minute.”
And thankfully, I’ve learned not to immediately decide that one of them is right and the other one is wrong. Instead, I just try to get curious. Why are my head and heart disagreeing? What is my body telling me? What is my spirit telling me? And what matters most here? And when I slow down enough to listen to all of it, I can make a decision that feels more aligned with who I am and how I want to live.
So back to Bryce Courtenay’s quote, “Mix the head with the heart and you’re ahead from the start.” Maybe wisdom isn’t found in choosing your head or choosing your heart. Maybe wisdom is learning how to listen to both.
Your head can help you think, your heart can help you care, your body can give you information, and your spirit can help you remember what matters. You don’t have to silence any of them. You can get curious, listen, connect, and then you can choose. Hmmm, something to think about and practice.
So why does all of this matter? I think this is More Lovin. Not becoming someone else, not fixing everything, not having all the answers, but becoming more connected to your body, your mind, your heart, your people, your faith, and the life you’re actually living.
That’s why we MOVE. That’s why we CONNECT. That’s why we LOVE. Because when we bring these pieces together, we don’t just get through life, we actually get to live it, and that sounds a whole lot More Lovin to me.
If today’s conversation has you thinking, “Okay, I want to slow down and check in with myself,” I’ve got something for you.
You can grab my Free More Lovin 3-Minute Reset. It’s just 3-minutes to step out of the noise, check in with yourself, and create a little more calm and connection. Get your 3-Minute Reset HERE
Before we go, grab one thing from today’s conversation and remember the More Lovin method. MOVE. CONNECT. LOVE. Here’s to a little more head and heart, and a whole lot more lovin. You got this!
Thanks for spending part of your day with me. If you’re ready to put the More Lovin Method into practice and create more of what matters most in your life, I’d love to help you through one-on-one coaching. You can learn more at leannaustin.com.
Because around here, more lovin isn’t just something we talk about, it’s something we practice. Have a good one y’all.