Rules tighten. Tools support.
Hey y’all, welcome to More Lovin, the podcast that brings more laughter, light, and love into everyday life. I’m your host LeAnn Austin, and together we’ll rediscover the beauty of connection to your body, your mind, your spirit, and the people you love.
Today’s episode #214: Why Tools Work Better Than Rules
I want to discuss something I heard from Jody Moore: Tools Not Rules, Hmmmm. I love the idea this phrase created in my mind. Tools actually work way better than rules. And the more I sit with it, the more I realize how much lighter life feels when we live that way.
Because most of us have tried rules. A lot of rules. Rules about food, rules about exercise, rules about how we should be feeling, believing, responding, or showing up.
Rules usually start with good intentions. They promise clarity. They promise safety. They promise if I just do this right, I’ll finally feel okay.
But for so many of us, rules end up doing the opposite. They tighten us up, they create pressure. They leave very little room for being human.
And when we inevitably don’t follow them perfectly, that’s when the shame sneaks in. Rules tend to sound like: I have to. I should. I’m failing if I don’t.
And even when we’re doing the rule, there’s often this low level tension underneath it.
Now let’s talk about tools. Tools feel completely different in our body. A tool is something you get to use, not something you have to obey.
A tool says, this might help. Try this and see how it feels. Use it when you need it. There’s choice there. There’s agency. There’s compassion.
A rule says, do this or else. A tool says, here’s some support.
And that difference matters, especially for our nervous system.
Rules often come from fear. Fear of messing up, fear of not being enough, fear of losing control.
Tools come from trust. Trust that your body has wisdom. Trust that your spirit can guide you. Trust that you can respond to what you actually need in the moment.
This is where More Lovin fits so beautifully. More Lovin isn’t about being stricter with ourselves. It’s about being more attuned, more curious, more compassionate, more regulated.
Tools invite us to listen instead of comply.
Think about nervous system tools. Things like the physiological sigh, putting your hand on your heart, taking a walk or pausing before reacting.
None of these are rules. You don’t fail if you forget to do them. You don’t get a gold star for doing them perfectly. They’re simply available.
And the same is true with food, with movement, and faith. Eating protein isn’t a rule, it’s a tool. Movement isn’t punishment, it’s support. Prayer isn’t a checklist, it’s a resource.
I really believe God works this way too. I don’t believe he’s handing us a rigid rule book and waiting for us to mess up. I believe he offers us tools: guidance, light, connection, comfort, calm, and invites us to use them as needed.
Guidance over guilt, love over pressure.
Here’s something I’ve noticed: every time I choose a tool, instead of forcing a rule, I build self-trust.
I learn that I can listen to my body. I learn that I can respond with kindness. I learn that I don’t have to control myself to care for myself. And that self trust changes everything.
So I want to leave you with a few gentle questions for today: Think about where have I been living by rules that exhaust me? What tool could support me instead? And what would it feel like to trust myself just a little bit more?
So this week, instead of asking: What’s the rule here? Try asking: What’s the tool that would help me right now? Hmmm, something to think about.
Remember, tools can change. Seasons can change. And you’re not failing, you’re learning.
And why tools work better than rules is definitely More Lovin.
Here’s to tools, self-trust, connection, and More Lovin. Have a good one y’all.
Thanks for tuning in. If you’re ready to take what we talk about here and make it personal, let’s work together one-on-one. I’ll help you calm your nervous system, strengthen your relationships, and create more lovin, laughter, and calm in your life. You can find all the details at leannaustin.com
Until next time. Keep choosing fun, connection, and a whole lot More Lovin. Have a good one y’all.