The amazing Patty Englin shares her beautiful love and relationship insights. Take a listen to hear how Patty has learned to love her DIL completely and discover true freedom.
Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law Podcast. I’m relationship expert and master certified coach, LeAnn Austin. I’ll help you create more connection, love, and fun with others, yourself and your daughter-in-law.
Hey y’all, welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law, episode #160: Freedom with Patty Englin
I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives and their relationships.
We have the amazing Patty sharing some beautiful love and relationship insights with us today. All right Patty, tell us a little bit about you.
Hi! Thank you so much LeAnn for inviting me. Ah, my pleasure. I love having you. I love what you’re doing and I’m excited for our listeners to hear more about you. Yeah!
So I’m a 72 year old woman who is married to Tom, and we are celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary March 15th. I’m mom to two adult children. My son Joe is 39. I can’t believe it. And he’s married to my daughter-in-law Paula. And my daughter Sarah is 36, and she is married to my son-in-law Evan, and they are the parents of my granddaughter Shiloh, 3 years old, and I’m Gigi to her. Aww. We live in Fort Myers, Florida, with our eight pound multi poodle, Chloe. I’m a certified Christian life coach for women 60 and over, and I’ve just begun my master coach certification.
That’s awesome Patty. I love that so much. Well, thank you so much for being here. Tell us, how do you incorporate love into your business and life, and how does that impact your relationships?
Yeah, so I am a firstborn rule follower, enneagram one. So hi, I’m Patty and I’m judgmental. So for me, I’m constantly looking to learn more ways to love myself. So I’m going to tell you a little bit about myself exactly where I currently am. Yeah, I love that. That’s what I’m working on. That’s awesome.
All right well tell us, what’s something that you love about you and why?
Yeah so my husband was an engineer with General Motors for 40 years and we moved an average every five years. So transition was my normal. So I’ve been an elementary school teacher. I’ve been a realtor. I’ve been an entrepreneur. I’ve been a certified Christian yoga instructor. And now I’m a life coach. So I’ve had a lot of change. I’ve also lived in Germany, Japan, and China.
And so what I love is that I am a learner and I am committed. I always feel that way. And I’m all in and I thrive. So those are the things I love about myself. Ah, I love that you recognize those and love them about you. That’s beautiful. Awesome. Thank you.
Well I love the connection between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law relationship. I think that’s packed full of endless examples to learn from. So, any thoughts about either having or being a daughter-in-law?
Yeah, so I knew and I was actually told that my mother-in-law didn’t think I was good enough for her son. So that impacted our relationship. And then when I received a daughter-in-law 16 years ago, I already loved her dearly. And at the same time, I held lots of expectations. For her coming into our family, how she would connect, the whole thing. So I was needy, and I expressed that need passive aggressively.
So I knew that I needed a change. Right? Like, it just, I was so unhappy. So, five and a half years ago, I hired my first life coach. And I thought she would teach me how to change my children, right? That’s why I hired her. I love it.
What she taught me was how I was responsible for, like, what we know. My thoughts, my feelings, my actions, and my results. And I learned how to love myself and how to take care of myself. And just learning and working on that for the last five and a half years has radically changed my relationship, not only with myself, but with my family.
So I love my daughter-in-law completely, and we are still two very different women, and those two statements are not in conflict anymore. Oh, that is so beautiful Patty. And I love that it’s like, wait, I don’t need to change daughter-in-law, mother-in-law, any relationship. They get to be them and I get to be me. Yeah. So beautiful. Thank you.
And that’s a good reminder to people that if they choose to hire a life coach, it’s not in order to change others. It’s good to focus and have that love and compassion for ourselves and that is really the key that changes everything in our relationships. I love it.
All right, anything else that you’d like to share and where can our audience go to find out more about you? Yeah, I am passionate about working with women 60 and over so they can develop emotional resilience and just live their second act with joy. So, I’m on Instagram @pattyenglin and I know you’ll have all this in the notes. I’m on Facebook. I have a page called Patty England life coaching and I have a website: pattyenglin.com and hopefully this summer you’ll be able to read my book.
Patty, I just love that so much. And it’s so fun to watch how, I mean, you’re in your seventies and you’re going out there being an entrepreneur and doing all these amazing things, helping people like that just warms my heart. I love that so much. So cool.
Well, let me just digress a minute and tell your readers a little, or your listeners, a little inside scoop. I was in a program for 18 months and that’s how I met LeAnn. She was my coach and she has, I can’t even count how many times she has challenged me in a way that I was willing to try these new things, you know, so LeAnn just has a way of making you believe that this is within you, right. So you have just been such a source of inspiration for me.
Oh, thank you so much for your kind words. And I love that you were willing because it takes us being willing to try. It takes us being willing to be uncomfortable and go after, and it’s been so fun to watch the things that you’ve done. So I love that so much. Thanks for sharing that. Thank you.
All right, so the last question: What is your favorite quote about love and how have you used it for yourself and in your relationships?
Yeah, so my favorite quote is: “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” And I’m not going to probably say his name right. It’s Thich Nhat Hanh. He’s Tibetan. So I just really love this quote because it helps me to realize and accept that the person I need to love in this way first is myself. And that was really hard for me at 67. Like I had a lot of years of not loving myself.
So I think that I learn in this quote that when I meet my own needs, I free myself. And I can meet the needs of others in a way that doesn’t carry expectations, right? Like, I also like to just take time to check in with myself. Like, that’s really been an anchoring thing to me, to just see what do I need? You know, what do I need? And I just feel like that wasn’t how I lived my life before I came to work with a coach.
Like I always put everyone else before me and therefore I was empty, right? Like I was so empty. And now I think fill this cup up first and then my cup overflows to help everyone else in my life. Yeah. I love that so much. Fill yours up first, and the freedom that it creates for us. Hmmm, something to think about.
Well, thank you Patty, for sharing your love insights with us. So appreciate you being here. Thank you LeAnn, love you. Ah, I love you too. Thank you.
Here’s to freedom, willing, connection, and love. Have a good one, y’all.
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Thanks so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed this episode and want to create more fun connection and love into your relationships, check out my Connection Crew membership, and One-on-One coaching programs. This is where I share practical strategies to help you deepen your relationships
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