Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law Podcast. I’m relationship expert and Master Certified Coach LeAnn Austin. I’ll help you create more connection and fun with others, especially your daughter-in-law.
Hey y’all, welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law, episode #144: In For All Of It with Jill Pack
I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives and their relationships.
We have the amazing Jill sharing some beautiful love and relationship insights with us today. All right Jill, tell us a little about you.
All right, thanks LeAnn for having me on today. As you said, my name is Jill Pack and I’m a certified life coach primarily for women in the mid season of life. I have an advanced certification in faith based coaching, because that’s a large part of why I do what I do, and is because it aligns with my personal beliefs. I also have an advanced certification in relationship mastery. And I think as women in the mid season, things change. So we also need some help in that area as well.
So yeah, I coach, I live in Utah. I have five kids and two daughters-in-law and a son-in-law and then three amazing grandchildren. They’re so fun. My husband and I live in a little town called Menden, Utah. Most people don’t know where it’s at, but we’ve been married for over 33 years and raised our kids here. And yeah, it’s good.
Oh, I love that so much. And it’s such a beautiful place, I was blessed to go to one of Jill’s retreats in the spring and yeah, such a beautiful area that she lives in. And I love so much what you coach and teach on.
So thank you for being here. Yeah. I’m so excited. All right. So tell us how do you incorporate love into your business and life and how does that impact your relationships?
Yeah, I’ve been thinking about this question because LeAnn sends these so you have time to think about them. But I thought about you know, love infuses everything I do. Because I think for me, it’s how I feel towards other people. And so it’s how I approach them. It’s how I approach my clients. It’s how I approach my family.
And sometimes in the challenges I have to just ask myself and I borrow this question from, now my mind’s blank, Adam Miller. And he’s an author, wrote a book called Original Grace, but in there, it’s says: What does love look like right now? You know, and sometimes it’s making a hard decision or having a hard conversation, but it’s always just pausing and thinking, okay, what would love look like right now? What, what would be said, how would I treat this other person? So that’s for me. That’s a question that is kind of under the surface at all the time. Like what would love look like right now? Yeah.
That’s such a beautiful question. And I like to talk about that in different forms too like, what would loving myself do right now? All different kinds of things. But I love how you just bring it back to love. Let’s just bring it back to what would love look like? I love that. Yes.
And like you said, I think it simplifies things often like the little stories or drama that can kind of creep in kind of can overshadow what love looks like. And just reminding ourselves of that just kind of can soften that narration that’s going on in our brain.
Yes. So good. Well, so what is something you love about you and why? Yes. Okay. This isn’t always easy, like it’s hard to talk about yourself, right? But that’s a good exercise in loving ourselves when we take the time to think about that.
So I think the love, the thing I love about myself is I think that one of my gifts is to love other people, and see other people as people. It’s something I’ve worked on, but I also think that it’s something that comes a little bit natural to me. And so I love that I can see someone and love them.
And also it helps me step back and go, okay, why would they say that? Or why would they be doing that? Right. Just being able to have that other person’s perspective, maybe. And again, I think that helps us when we ask what would love look like, but I think that’s what I like about myself as I can see people as people.
A hundred percent agree with that. Just watching you and interacting with others and just that love and compassion that you have for them as well. It’s beautiful. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. All right. So I love talking about connection with others and ourselves. And I think the daughter-in-law relationship is packed full of endless examples to learn from. So any thoughts about either having a daughter-in-law or being a daughter-in-law?
I think that I learned a lot more becoming a mother-in-law than I ever did as a daughter-in-law, but I also know more. And so it’s like, yeah, I just think most of my growth occurred, like personal growth occurred when I started adding other people to our family. That’s when you kind of notice your rough edges and it just causes a lot of introspection.
You know, just thinking about, oh okay, this is thrown off the groove. You grow up in a family and you raise your kids and you just have this little protective cover over that unit and then they start leaving and they bring people back. And yeah, I think a lot of personal growth for me has happened with.
When that began, was there anything particular that you’re like, Oh, I noticed when I tried this or anything, you know, something specific? I think that, and I’ve shared this a lot of times in different places, but you know, it’s easy to believe that they’re causing you a problem.
Yes, it is. That was the wake up. It’s like, it’s actually not them. Yes. That was the biggest, like, it really was. The perfect way to learn that the circumstances don’t dictate the kind of life you’ll have. You can create a beautiful life regardless of anything outside of you. And when you can let go of that expectation of them needing to be a certain way, it frees you up.
To actually be the creator of your life instead of like, I just lived in a loop of frustration for a long time because I had an expectation of what it was supposed to look like or how it was supposed to be. And so just the work of like letting that be them. They get to be them.
And when I noticed myself kind of moving into that frustration. I’ve created a habit of just going, that’s so interesting. This phrase puts me into the watcher instead of the wallower. So I can just be like, yeah, that’s so interesting. They said that, or that’s so, I wonder why they did that. Or like, I wonder what’s going on for them. That’s so interesting, right? And so, just that little shift in that relationship, I think, just allows for that, an opportunity to become a watcher, instead of, you the wallower, the judger, like, yeah, so that for me, that’s my little tip is just like: Oh, that’s so interesting. And that’s my cue to just get curious and not make a judgment call in that very moment. Just let it be, and then you can take it a bit later. Yeah.
That is such good advice. And just to take a step back and be the watcher. I love that. Yeah, beautiful. All right. Well, is there anything else you’d like to share and where can our audience go to find out more about you?
Yeah, you’re the thing I would love to share is, I don’t know, I guess for me, it’s just like embrace where you are. And just be in for all of it. Sometimes it can feel so heavy. And we think that when things don’t look the way we thought they would, it’s easy to believe something’s gone wrong. It’s actually when we’re kind of bumping up against things, it’s just showing us that it’s all working as it’s supposed to.
Yeah. The struggles are part of this and that’s what helps us grow. That’s why when I look back at the growth I’ve had because of the challenges in the relationships in my life, I’m so grateful for the growth. And it’s not that I love discomfort or hard things, but I know on the other side of it, I’m a better person, I’m learning how to be a better version of me. Just be in for all of it.
That is awesome Jill. And then where can they follow you or find you? Yeah, people can find me, I have a podcast too called Seasons of Joy. I’m learning and growing with that as well. I’m in for all of that. And then you can follow me on Instagram: @seasons_coaching, and then because I didn’t, you know, find names that matched exactly, they’re a little different on Facebook: @seasons.life.coaching. So they’re a little bit different, but anyway, you can find me there. Perfect. And I’ll put all of that in the show notes as well so people have them well. Excellent.
All right. So what is your favorite quote about love and how have you used it for yourself and in your relationships? Okay. You know, I was thinking about this the other day, like what is a quote? I love everything from Brene Brown. I do a group, a small group coaching called Season of Connection. And I just think as people were built to connect, we’re just designed to connect with others.
And I love Brene Brown’s quote where she says, and I think it’s from Daring Greatly, but she says: “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. When they can give and receive without judgment and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” And I think for me, like that’s my goal in my relationships with my adult children, with my husband, with my clients. It’s like if we spent more time seeing, hearing, and valuing each other and seeing each other as people, whether we agree or disagree, that changes everything.
It changes everything. Ah, 100%. And what a beautiful way to define connection. Something to think about. Thank you Jill, for sharing your love insights with us. So glad to have you here. Well, thank you so much for having me LeAnn. Ah, my pleasure. All right y’all, have a good one. And here’s to in for all of it, connection, and love.
If you enjoyed this podcast, take a look at my Connection Crew program and One-on-One Coaching options by checking out the show notes. In those programs, I teach and coach a variety of ways to have more fun and connection in your relationships. I also share how I have created a beautiful relationship with my daughters-in-law.
And if you want one easy question you can keep in your back pocket and use to increase the love you feel for your daughter-in-law today, go to leannaustin.com and get the one question.
