Why this Anxiety?

DWQA QuestionsWhy this Anxiety?
lisahakes52@hotmail.com asked 2 years ago
If it were just my children attending a family function I would have absolutely no worries! They love each other. As they married I gained two daughter-in-law‘s that evidently don’t love me. I am a pleaser and I’ve tried everything I know how. One of them is coming around and the other has not tho she’s trying. I have another daughter-in-law that loves me and the brand new daughter-in-law was told some things by the one who still not sure about me therefore she’s wondering… I was a dorm mother to 44 girls in college and they all liked me. I don’t know why this is so hard for me but I feel anxious now every time our family gets together! I don’t sleep and I can’t enjoy myself. And I’m not myself!  Why do I care so much? What can I do to make it better. I watch the new daughter-in-law to not feel stressed about me and I really want her to like me as it is my oldest son‘s wife. Therefore I am anxious.
1 Answers
2leann answered 2 years ago

Thank you for sharing about your anxiety. I’d love to speak to this more on the call Tuesday. If you can come on then and talk about, it let’s do it.

A couple of thoughts and questions for you to think about:

Unfortunately we can’t control what daughter-in-laws do or what they think of us. You could do everything perfectly, and they still may not like you.

One of your models may look like this:

C: Family Function
T: My daughter-in-law doesn’t love me
F: anxious
A: I don’t sleep, I don’t enjoy myself, I don’t show up as my true self, I judge daughter-in-laws and myself, I ruminate about this
R: I don’t love me

What if you loved you and it didn’t matter what your daughter-in-laws thought or did?

What if it was okay if daughter-in-laws didn’t like you?
*I like to think of this like a piece of fruit. Not everyone likes peaches, and that’s not a problem unless we make it one. We don’t like everyone, and everyone doesn’t like us, and that is okay.

Let’s talk about this more Tuesday. If you can attend, and come on and discuss with me, that would be wonderful. If you're not available, please share more insight and I’ll speak to it there for you to catch on the recording.

So many can relate to this or something similar ~ thanks again for sharing for us all to learn from

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