Ways to connect with Camille:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/camillescowcoaching/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/camille.bradford.5/
Website: camillescowcoaching.com
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/camille-scow/
You’re listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you’ll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love ~ I’m your host, LeAnn Austin
Hey y’all, welcome to Love Tidbits, Episode #40: Love Feels Good with Camille Scow. I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives.
We have the amazing Camille Scow sharing some beautiful love insights with us today. Alright Camille, briefly introduce yourself.
So I’m the youngest of nine in my family, grew up in Mapleton. My parents had, and they still have an orchard, and mostly peaches, mostly apples, because my dad was like, I’m gonna teach my children to work. And as we grew up, he has this phrase now of “I taught my kids to work and they taught me how to play.” So we like to have fun. We have a cabin up Spanish Fork Canyon, and we go there. We have family reunions there and it’s always super fun.
I went to BYU Idaho for three and a half years, two and a half years, I don’t know, a couple years, and then transferred to BYU, got my degree in education with a minor in music, and then got my masters from UVU after teaching for a couple years in Jordan School District.
And then got married in 2017. Both my husband and I were 28, and it was kind of perfect. I was hoping to get married sooner, but it was perfect cuz I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about love really, and like what it feels like, and the real love, cuz I’ll be honest, kind of grew up with the fairy tale mentality of, you know, you do all the things, and then you find your prince, and then it’s all just happy. And it’s just supposed to be happy all the time.
So, I was glad for that time alone to just kinda connect more with myself before I entered into the marital stage. And we’ve been married for five years. I have an 18 month old and expecting next baby end of November, so that’s pretty exciting. That is exciting. And January, went through the Life Coach School. Certified in May. You’re a coach now. Awesome. Yep, so trying to pursue that, it’s kind of the next chapter of my life and yeah, that’s about it.
Awesome. Well, so many fun stuff. I love it. It’s fun to hear the experiences of what you’ve had. So I’m going to ask you three questions, and let’s tell our audience the first one: How do you incorporate love into your business and/or your life?
So, my business is helping wives whose husband’s view pornography. And the love part is all over. It’s in every aspect. It’s in being able to love who you are, and being able to love who your husband is, as he is now, and as you are now. Because oftentimes we get in a relationship, or maybe there’s some, you know, unexpected information, there’s unexpected things that we might learn about our spouse. And then we feel trapped. And it’s kind of a dangerous place to be because you’re giving away your power in a sense. You’re kind of giving away your situation to your circumstance. And what I mean by that is like, especially in like the LDS culture of like, you know, if you get married in the temple, it’s like forever and ever, and you kind of feel trapped of like, oh I made this choice, even though I didn’t necessarily know this information, and so I have to stay in this situation, which then prevents, or this marriage, that’s what I mean, like I have to stay married cuz that’s the right thing to do.
And the reason why that’s damaging is because it doesn’t leave room for love, really, because there’s this mentality of necessity. And so it’s like, I have to be in this marriage. I have to stay in this marriage cuz that’s the good thing. That’s the right thing. But being open to getting out of the marriage has the opposite effect, what you might think. Because being open to leaving the marriage. Then leaves you open for love, leaves you open for loving yourself, leaves you open for loving your husband, which then puts you in a situation where you are able to make that choice, if you wanna stay or leave.
And it’s kind of mind blowing because there’s more love no matter what you choose. And the decision doesn’t seem so black and white. The decision doesn’t seem so doom and gloom, either to stay or to go. Because it can feel doom and gloom to stay. It can feel doom and gloom to leave the marriage. But when you’re open, like genuinely open to both scenarios, you’re genuinely open for love. And so that’s what I try to help my clients reach. Like that’s the point of where I want to help them see. How love has, like, love actually creates the result they want. When they are like negative or down on themselves. Cause they think if, if they’re down on themselves, if they’re angry at their spouse, if they’re feeling strong negative emotions, then it’ll potentially get them what they want, which is a happy marriage. Which is weird what our brains do. It’s like, oh if I’m so mad at my husband, he’ll see that I’m mad, and then he’ll want to change. But that’s not how it happens.
So once we have such a strong love for ourselves, then it helps us let go of the control that we feel like we need to have in a relationship. And then, like I said, leaves room for love, which then helps you get out of your emotional state in your brain, which then helps you use more of your prefrontal cortex, which then that is the decision making part of your brain. So it’s like the loving yourself exactly as you are, loving your husband exactly as he is, opens that portal of love and appropriate decision making. And I think it’s a beautiful thing.
That is a beautiful thing. Yes Camille, I love that. I love how you’re willing to talk about it. Some people don’t want to talk about pornography. I love how you’re willing to talk about it. You’re willing to bring that to light, to talking about making a choice whether to stay or go. That’s so beautiful and I love that you’re honing in and focusing on that. Alright. Well, thank you. Nice. Okay. Definitely have my ups and downs. For sure, part of life, huh? Yes. Alright, question number two: What is something you love about you and why?
So, as I was thinking about this question, I realized I have a tendency to say the good, but then also say the opposite of the bad. Cause like, I think many people kind of have a hard time thinking positively about myself. Cause I was, my answer to that question is I love that I am quick to forgive, because the whole idea of not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting another person to die. That kind of thing, and realizing that the forgiveness is for me, like I selfishly forgive because it’s for me. Like I want to feel better, so I’m going to forgive.
And then right after I had that thought, the next thought I had was, well I’m not so good at forgiving myself , and that’s what I’m hoping to get better at. So I’m hoping my skills of being quick to forgive others will translate, of course, with work to forgiving myself quickly too. Cause that’s definitely something that I’ve noticed that I’m not always the best. But I also see how it can benefit my life.
Absolutely. And just that awareness of it, that you do recognize that you are really good at forgiving others, and your practicing being good at forgiving yourself as well. That’s beautiful. Alright, so before I ask you the last question, where can our audience go to hear more about you?
Well, I have a podcast. It’s called Choosing Love. And it’s cultivating relationships. What is it? My little tagline, it’s cultivating self-compassion in relationships with unwanted pornography use. So you can find that on Apple Podcasts, on Amazon Music, on Google Podcasts, or Google, whatever the Google one is called.
And I have a website, it’s camillescowcoaching.com. And then Facebook and Instagram are both camillecowcoaching. Perfect. And I’ll put those in the show notes as well. Excellent. Alright, so last question: What is your favorite quote about love?
Alright, so I recently came up with this quote, I mean, discovered this quote. My first thought was, love feels good, and I’m not sure who said it. I think maybe Brooke Castillo might have been the first person where I heard it from and I love that.
But then I was like, wait a minute, I want to share something different, which goes along with that, of that love feels good. And this is from Brené Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart, in her chapter about love, and it says, “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known. And when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection. Love is not something we give or get. It is something that we nurture and grow. A connection that can be cultivated between two people only when it exists within each one of them. We can love others only as much as we love ourselves.”
I love the part about being vulnerable, and how that openness with ourselves and others is what can cultivate that love. As well as the idea of, we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. I think that goes to, like if we can’t feel love for ourselves, then we have this deeper underlying belief of in question and doubt of how can someone else love me even if I don’t love me. And so there’s always that blocking us from loving others.
So when we cultivate that self-compassion, that love within ourselves, it generates more capacity to love others. And then the idea that love feels good, is like enough motivation to do it. And it can help shut out all of the drama of love, cuz sometimes it’s like oh, I shouldn’t love this person, because if I love this person then it means I approve of their behavior. So that’s not the case. Right. But it’s kind of like forgiveness and that we love and we forgive because it feels good for us. Yes. And we can do it regardless of anyone else’s behavior. Yes. Such beautiful thoughts.
I love that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Hmmm, something to think about. Well, thank you Camille for sharing your tidbits of love with us. Thank you for the opportunity. My pleasure. Have a good one y’all, and here’s to love.
If you would like to become an expert at Loving Yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program, at leannaustin.com
