Linda Tanner is one of those souls who carries quiet strength, deep wisdom, and an open heart.
Take a listen to this beautiful conversation…
Hey y’all, welcome to More Lovin, the podcast that brings more laughter, light, and love into everyday life. I’m your host LeAnn Austin, and together we’ll rediscover the beauty of connection to your body, your mind, your spirit, and the people you love.
Today’s episode #212: Letting Go with Linda Tanner
I love observing and connecting with people who bring more love and light into their lives and relationships. It is so inspiring to see how each person does it in their own way.
We have the incredible Linda sharing some beautiful love and relationship insights with us today. All right Linda, tell us a little bit about you.
Okay, just a little bit. I first would like to say I met LeAnn on the most magical trip to Italy, and she was the very first person I met. I traveled alone, showed up at a hotel and you were sitting there in the lobby and talk about instant acceptance and love. It’s easy to fall in love with you. You’re so kind and you have such a generous, loving heart. That just set the trip up for, like I said, magic. It was an amazing trip.
So I am in a space in life, I’m entering the work field again. My husband recently passed away and so I am venturing out and right now I’m working for a nonprofit that helps women get education and mentorship. And I’m also working on a project to help caregivers and I hope to produce that in the next year or so.
That is amazing Linda. And I just want to echo what she said. Linda was the first one I got to meet and it, I’m gonna get teary about it. It was so tender to me just to be able to, I mean, I’d never been to Europe. I’d been doing all the traveling alone, obviously our nervous systems were probably a little dysregulated and it was so connecting and calming to just have that hour or so that we just got to visit and get to know each other. We’d never met. I didn’t even know anything.
And it was just really, really tender and for you to be there, especially soon after having your husband pass away and all of these things. Incredible. You’re just such a beautiful example of light and love and thank you.
Thank you, there’s a truth about energy in an open heart, and I don’t think that would’ve happened if you didn’t have that you know. And I was open to receiving it. And so thank you. Ah, you are a sweetheart.
Well, let’s go through these five questions that I love to ask and for our listeners to hear. How do you bring more love and into your life and your business and how has that impacted your relationships?
So I thought about this question and what kept coming to my mind was letting go. And so I think in life and raising a family and I ran businesses with my husband, everything is just go, go, go. And society really conditioned you to, the harder you work, the greater the payoff. And I think with love and honestly with everything is, we let go and we stop micromanaging and getting locked onto the tasks which aren’t necessary. But to let go and align with what is truly be present.
I love that so much. Letting go and aligning. Yeah. You know, you can’t control the past, you can’t control your future, but you can be present every day. Show up every day and be comfortable with that and let the future take care of itself if you’re taking care of today.
Oh, I love that. Just bringing it back to the moment. Because it is so easy to get wrapped up on what’s already happened or what’s going to happen. Well yes, I’m really good at that. So I’m learning. I have clenched onto both sides and I’ve realized that, you know, that’s not effective.
And I think that brings more space for me to be present for other people, for my family, for my friends, when, you know, I don’t use that energy where it’s not useful. But yeah, it opens up everything. I love that so much because it is in the moments and it is so easy, I think, for all of us to get caught up in the past or the future, but it is that present that we give ourself of being present basically. So that’s beautiful. Builds us up for sure.
Well, tell us something, Linda, that you love about yourself and why. Okay. That’s always been a difficult question. Something very uncomfortable. I think a lot of us, maybe women especially, feel that way. So I think what I love about myself is that I am learning and I have an ability to grow and evolve.
Beautiful. And that we aren’t stuck in who we were and we’re not predestined to who other people may see us. As you know, to become, but that we can learn and grow at any age. I think I’ve learned that especially in these last few years, to be adaptable and that it’s possible to create and make things beautiful right where you’re at.
I love learning. What were you gonna say? You’re learning what? Being flexible, you know, just being open and just letting the world come. And then you take those parts and see what you can do with them instead of worrying and being frustrated because you don’t have what you thought you had or you still don’t have what you want, but just take it all in.
I bet that’s been so impactful for you with the really difficult things that have happened in your life, especially recently, to open up to all of the different things. Because a lot of times we just kind of shut down and that’s normal too. And we work through that. And I think, you know, it’s the ebb and flow of it all, but well feels very safe to do that. Yes, and it’s very scary to step out into a new space.
Yes. I love that you recognize how amazing that is in yourself and that you’re willing to do that, you know, because that’s intentional choice.
Yeah, it is. And part of that choice was one, allowing it, but also surrounding myself with people that also encourage that we need each other. We need that connection to help pull us through and put wind in our sails and keep us going. And then we can, you know, reciprocate that we all work together and I feel so blessed that I’ve had, my family’s been amazing. My friends have been amazing. This new group, Italy is forever, special. What a great group of women to know. You don’t have to talk, but you just know that we’re all supporting each other. Yes. That’s a lot of love.
Yeah, and it’s amazing how there are those moments or those opportunities or those things out there when we choose to be really uncomfortable and put ourselves in those situations that really help us grow and learn so much. We have to. And it’s great to have people to just say, better jump now. Exactly. Oh, I love it. So good.
Well, when you think about connection with yourself or with others, what comes to mind? So I love the story. What is her name? Tara Borck. Do you know her? I’m not sure.
So she told a story about the prickly porcupine. Have you ever heard this? So I think connection is effort. And we think it’s magical and it is, but it also takes effort. And she shares this story in one of her talks about, it’s called the Parable of the Prickly Porcupine. And I’ll try and be really quick about it. Oh, you’re fine. I wanna hear.
It’s this parable of, it was the coldest winter ever, and these porcupines were animals that were dying. And these porcupines all got together to stay warm, but as they were close to each other, their quills were like poking each other. And so it was hurting and the, you know, little wounds here and there.
And so then they began to separate. But as they separated, some of the porcupines were dying. And so the porcupines had to make a decision. Is it worth being together and suffering these little wounds for the greater good of survival? And that the heat and the love is greater than the wounds.
And that’s the nature of being together and close with friends or companions, that we are going to hurt each other in ways that aren’t intentional, it’s just who we are as humans. But that we always remember the greater good of the warmth and the love that can trump and overcome it all. So when you said that question or asked that question about connection, I thought it takes effort and a willingness to be with each other in our imperfections.
Because love is greater than, you know, all those imperfections lead us to learning and understanding ourselves. What’s being exposed? What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? Where does this come from? And it’s this great dive into interpersonal relationships.
Yeah, I love that. We connect by being with each other and accepting each other completely. And accepting the pokes that that come along with it. What a great parable. I know. Isn’t that cute? I’m sure she’s a lot better, but that was my best version. Oh no, that’s beautiful. And what a fun way to remember it, because I think you’re spot on with it’s the ruptures and repairs that strengthens our relationships.
Yeah. If we’re all like surface level and don’t really do anything, then okay. But when you have those pokes and things, that helps us get stronger in our relationships and connect even more, I love that. We’re stronger together. If we distance ourselves because we don’t wanna get hurt, or we don’t wanna be offended, then we’re isolated and we’re alone and we’re cold. We need each other.
Yes. We, need to be close to each other and take those pokes for what they are. Yes. What are they teaching us? How do we survive it? I mean, when you go through the rapids with someone, you come out the other end like, oh my gosh, we did it. And it’s so exhilarating and thrilling, and that’s the vision we have to keep in our minds that. That this journey is really beautiful and the reward is so good if we just, you know, push through and get through those tough times. Those pokes. Oh, I love that so much. I’m gonna, yeah. I’ll have to look that up. That’s awesome.
Anything else that you’d like to share Linda? Now I really love that you prompted me with these questions to give me a little self-reflection and I was thinking what really helped me open up to love.
I feel like this time in my life has really made me vulnerable and scared. Honestly, and what helped me heal and open up to more love, because the more I’ve opened up, like this Italy trip and my friends, and now I have this job that I love, everything’s opening up.
And if I go back to a friend of mine, this is what I wanna share. A friend of mine helped me. She does what she calls forgiveness work. Oh, and so she sat down with me a few times and we talked about forgiveness and okay, on the surface level, everyone has events in their lives that are hard and you know, they just kind of sit with us and they need to be released and not to be the victim and stuff like that.
But what she opened up for me is I needed to forgive myself. So I had to accept myself, the whole part of me. And I had to see myself and the offenses that I made, or the hurts that I did, and forgive myself there, but more importantly, forgive my judgments of myself.
And so I realized she helped me forgive myself for the guilt I felt of… let’s say I didn’t do that right, or I didn’t say that right, or the shame I felt of why wasn’t I more sensitive or the perfection that I should have done this, I should have done that. Or the anger that I felt like we judge ourself for feeling life. We judge ourself for experiencing life. And we need to just stop and say, okay, I was angry. I should be embarrassed about that, or I did my best. I was willing to try and accept that and not judge others, but more importantly, don’t judge yourself. Yes.
And when I opened up to accepting myself and saying, okay, enough with the guilt and the shame and judging myself for having feelings, everything started opening up. And I began to feel more love and compassion for myself. And then I could feel more love and compassion for other people because I could see them like I saw myself, like, oh, they are just working through life too. This is hard. And I guess we could tie that back into our little porcupines, you know, we’re all poking each other.
But forgiveness, I think that’s where it starts. Personally for me, I know that’s where it started, is handing it over to a greater power. I believe in God, in a divineness, something greater than us in saying, Hey, I accept and I want to learn, and I want to grow, and I want to love, and I want to feel love.
That is so beautiful Linda, and I think we forget and we beat ourselves up, not even realizing that we’re doing it, but that love and compassion for ourselves, like you said, makes it easier to love others as well. Yeah.
Yeah. I never thought of that, you know, I thought about forgiving myself for my mistakes or whatever I’ve done, but I never realized the harsh judgment I put on myself for feeling like, you yell at your kids and then you judge yourself like, I’m such a terrible mother, and why did I do that? Or you misstep or you just make mistakes. You’re just living life. Yeah.
Learning and growing, and give yourself a break. Yes, just like you do with the people that you love, do that for yourself as well. Yes, and that’s where it starts. Yeah. You fill your cup, right? Yep. If you don’t have anything in there to give, you gotta figure that out. Fill it up.
Yeah. Oh, I love that you’ve done that and you exemplify that to others. That’s beautiful. Yeah. I’ve learned a lot, crash course you go through and I’m sure a lot of your listeners and you have gone through a lot of hard times and what a beautiful opportunity and to grow, like I am soaked. It’s so true.
I’m so thankful that I’ve become the person I am now versus who I was then, but it took a lot of struggle to get there, and that’s just the nature of the game. Yeah, and accept that it’s okay. Yes. And you can feel sad and angry, because you also feel love and compassion.
Yes, you’re all of it. Embrace all of it and align it. Exactly. I love that align. And I don’t think we’d be able to feel the joy and the gratefulness, and all of that, if we didn’t feel the anger and the sadness and all of that. To really know every truth is manifest by its opposite. You have to see both sides of the coin. Exactly. Just don’t get it, and that’s what makes the joy so great.
Yeah, I think of Christ, again, I am a believer in Christ that he could condescended below all. Therefore, of course, he’s the greatest of all. He understands all of it. And it’s our goal to follow his example or the divine power that you believe in. You know what this life is really about. Overcoming. Yes. Rising to the top because you understand the bottom. Exactly. And it’s a yucky place to be, but it’s necessary. It is.
And that reminds me of this picture. Probably many have seen it where Christ’s hand is, you know, out to reach us, to help us. You know, to lift us wherever his hand is outstretched still. And using that to help us, you know, evolve and grow, to wherever we’re going. And as we look at that hand, we see the wounds. Yes. Pain. Great hope for us. Yes, oh I love that. That’s beautiful. Ah, thank you.
Well, tell me your favorite quote about love and how has it shaped your life and relationships? I have lots of quotes and I just can’t think of one, but I found one, just a minute ago before we hopped on this podcast, and it’s really simple. Let me see if I can find it real quick.
Matt Cook, I like Matt Cook. I follow him online and he’s very inspiring and he is all about manifestation and being present. And anyway, he said: “A grateful heart is a magnet for constant magic.” And I know that was a big part of my healing and growing and accepting was to express gratitude.
Express gratitude, not just for the good things, but express gratitude for learning from the hard things. That we can be grateful in all things. And that creates magic. I believe that. Yes. That somehow I ended up in Italy and that was magical. Yes. It changed the trajectory of my life in a lot of ways, and I’m forever grateful.
Oh, I love, love that. A grateful heart is a magnet for constant magic. Hmm, something to think about. Constant. Yes. I mean God is omniscient, omnipotent, all of that stuff. So it’s all there. It’s all there for the taking. And we just have to open our hearts to receive it. Yes. Epic. Ah, so beautiful.
Well thank you Linda. Thank you LeAnn. I just love you and your kind heart. You’re such a great person and inspiration for me. So thank you. Well, and you the same, and for taking time to share your love insights with us. So tender. So thank you. Of course. Thank you.
Alright y’all, here’s to letting go, aligning, being present, and more lovin. Have a good one y’all.
Thanks for tuning in. If you are ready to take what we talk about here and make it personal, let’s work together one-on-one. I’ll help you calm your nervous system, strengthen your relationships, and create more lovin, laughter and calm in your life. You can find all the details at leannaustin.com
Until next time, keep choosing fun, connection, and a whole lot More Lovin. Have a good one y’all.