My dear friend Liz Bunker, shares her beautiful love and relationship insights.
As teacher of the year, very self-disciplined, a daughter-in-law, and much more, Liz shares how doing a little bit consistently can make a huge impact.
What is one little thing you do on a regular basis that is creating value for you?
Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law podcast. I’m relationship expert and master certified coach LeAnn Austin. I’ll help you create more connection and fun with others, especially your daughter-in-law.
Hey y’all, welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law episode #124: Hugs and Notes with Liz Bunker
I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives and their relationships.
We have the amazing Liz Bunker sharing some beautiful love and relationships insights with us today. All right Liz, tell us a little bit about you.
Hi, I’m a wife, a mother of two daughters, a sister, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, and I’m a teacher. I think that’s the thing I probably identify with most is I’m a teacher. I work with special ed students in a general ed curriculum at an elementary school and I love my job.
I love that. And you’re an amazing teacher. And Liz forgot to mention that she was Teacher of the Year. Just a little side note there. So pretty cool. I love it. That is, that was a big honor because I work in a building full of amazing teachers. So to be recognized by your colleagues like that is really an honor. Yeah, I love that.
All right, so how do you incorporate love into your business and life and how does that impact your relationships?
Well, so I try to show up and be myself and always think about what people around me can do. Think of the look at things from their perspective and think what could help them. What could I do to make their life a little easier. I was really blessed I think when I fell into this job at Oak Grove Elementary, which is an elementary school when I went back to teaching. I really thought I wanted to teach middle schoolers and teach 6th grade math was sort of a sweet spot. But I ended up in this job teaching special ed kids in general curriculum and, you know, it really brings all my gifts together.
The first thing I always do, and it’s the whole culture at the school I work at, is a relationship. You have to have a relationship with that student before you’re going to get them to do anything else. That is the most important thing and to meet their needs.
So we have this mission that when every child that walks in the building is greeted by at least two adults, and if not more, but also by their name. We started this as just a greeting and the immediate reaction of many kids was to give you a hug. So now it’s become this thing of a greeting and a hug for whoever wanted it. Some kids don’t want that, some do. But when we started doing that it really changed the days for many of our kids, because if they came in and they had something upsetting happen, or frustrating happen before they came in the door, you’re able to grab them at that moment coming in and reset. Well not a hundred percent of the time, but most of the time we’re catching them, you’re resetting them. So they’re getting to the classroom and they’re happy. They’re ready to learn.
I love that so much. Like starting the day out just with that connection. So we have this corner in our school, we call it the corner of hug and love, where one side comes the bus riders, the other side comes the car and golf cart riders. So every kid’s coming through the intersection of hug and love and getting some love. And I am lucky to be there.
Classroom teachers are all outside their, their classroom door, but then any other staff is welcome to be at hug and love. And. I just like, I feel so blessed to get to start my day that way because there’s nothing better than getting a hug from a little child. And to get 20 of them before eight o’clock in the morning, I’m pretty darn lucky.
And people who visit will say, I wish I could do this every day or I really missed it when I wasn’t here last week and I didn’t get to come do this. It is just a great way to start your day. I love that so much.
Yeah, so getting to I try to get to know my students, and I started off the by always sending them a note saying how I’m looking forward to working with them. I’m glad we’re going to be working together this year. And if it’s a new student, how I’m looking forward to getting to know you. Or if it’s a student I’ve had, because sometimes I’ll get to work with students multiple years, tell me I’m looking forward to us working together.
I always try to learn more about them outside of school and connect with them as a person, not just as a student. And share myself as a person, not just as a teacher. And that always helps. And I try to go to recitals or games if I know they’re having those. And that helps to get to know them outside of school. And for some of these kids, school’s not where they shine. So, for them to be recognized in this other place, and you to acknowledge this other place in their life where they do shine is huge.
And I enjoy that, but then throughout the year, I’ll send them notes. I usually use the holidays. Like I said, one initially at the beginning of the year in August, and then one for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s. Then Easter, spring, if they don’t celebrate like those, just call it, you know, the holiday season or spring Easter, but send them a little note and comment on some accomplishment they’ve done recently or something I know they’re really working hard on. So they realize I recognize that because you can tell them that in words, but when they get something outside, and especially mail, kids don’t like get mail anymore, so they love that they get mail.
So you actually mail it to them, these notes you’ll actually mail to them? Oh, Liz I love that. I know a problem I’m starting to run into with our mail service is not so reliable And sometimes I’m getting them back like two months later, and they never got delivered they return to me. But I’ll keep doing it as long as like some are getting it because it makes them really happy. Well sometimes they never say anything, but their parents will say that really meant a lot to them, or some parents will take a picture of them opening it, or showing it. It’s really cute, and they’ll send me this picture, and that just makes my day.
That’s awesome. What a loving way for you to connect and build the relationships out of school, like going to the things and sending these notes. That’s beautiful. I love that. All right, so what is something that you love about you and why? Well it’s not a body part, but something I like about myself is that I can be self disciplined and do like that boring thing over and over and over. Like every day I can show up doing it. And I know not everybody can do that. And I can do that and I don’t mind doing that. And I like that I can be consistent and just do something for the long haul.
I like that. Yes, and that is an amazing trait I love about you as well, because Liz is kind of a rock star, like, I get to run with her often, and she does CrossFit, and she is so strong, she can do pull ups by the way, which is still my dream, so I’m working on that. But she’s so good on stuff like that, being consistent and being regular. She does triathlons and she just shows up and keeps showing up. And I think that is huge in moving towards where we want to be. And I admire that so much about you. That’s cool.
Yeah. I like having some new goal to work on and trying something new. I know you’re like that too. It’s a fun thing. Just remember I was 59 when I did that first pull up. Okay so I have a few more years. You’re doing great. I’m on my way. I love it.
All right, so I love talking about connection with others and ourselves. And I think the daughter-in-law relationship is packed full of endless examples to learn from. So any thoughts about being a daughter-in-law? It’s a special relationship. You know, I have an amazing mother-in-law who I love and admire. She’s a very strong woman and very smart and confident in who she is. And she’s been a great role model for me and my daughters.
And you know, relationships ebb and flow. And sometimes I don’t like her, but I always love her, and how can you not love that person who brought your loved one into the world and raised them, you know, because they’re part of them. You know, the apple doesn’t fall from far from the tree, right? So it’s a special relationship, and I will never get to be a mother-in-law because I have two daughters, and I’ll never have daughters-in-law, but I look forward to being a mother-in-law and having sons because I’ve never had sons and that’s kind of a fun part of life that you can kind of come around to.
Like, you have never had daughters and now you have two daughters-in-law and exactly amazing how life can change like that in the world. And absolutely, I love the appreciation for that they mothered your spouse or whatever, because I think even when the relationship isn’t going the way we necessarily want it, if we can bring our brains back to wait a second. You know, hey, they went through life with my spouse and I love an adult, you know, so just that appreciation I think is super helpful as well. That’s a great, you know, remembering that you both have this huge thing in common that you love this. Love this other person, you know, I’ve been, I think very lucky.
My mother-in-law has been a great role model for my daughters. And I think it’s interesting sometimes things that the things they can learn from their grandparents, that you might’ve said to them, but they don’t listen. But they listen, you know, from a different generation, maybe it’s just so much further removed. Maybe that just resonates more or just, I don’t know, that amazes me because I grew up not really knowing my grandparents. So that’s been a blessing to me and a prayer answered that my children would have relationships and know their grandparents, because I think it is such a blessing. Yes, to have that family.
Family is so important. Yes, and that’s such a good point too. That they, yeah, sometimes they won’t listen to you, but they’ll listen to grandma for sure. I love that. Well, anything else that you want to share, Liz? Anything else you’re thinking? Well, I can’t think of anything. Okay. So what is your favorite question or quote about love and how have you used it for yourself and in your relationships?
Well, I came across this quote from Desmond Tutu. I read this book about him and the Dalai Lama, well, someone else wrote the book about the two of them, but with them, but it was written by a journalist, but it’s about their relationships. And the two of them are full of such wisdom in relationships and how to love our neighbor and how to love each other. But he talked about how he says, “to do your little bit of good where you are. It’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” and I love that because I don’t feel like I’m this amazing person who’s gonna do something just grand in world in the world. And you don’t have to, you just need to keep showing up and doing your little bit, that’s all we’re all really asked to do, and we can do, and that’s so attainable, like, okay, yes, I can do that.
And it’s also a reminder that it’s that constant little bit and that constant drip that makes big. impacts over a long period of time. I love that. I love that too. It’s those little bits of good put together to overwhelm the world. Hmm, something to think about.
Ah, thank you Liz, for sharing your love insights with us today. So appreciate you being here. I just love your podcast. And when I get to say one of my other new thoughts about love that I think about in questions is I learned on your show is, what would I do if I love them? What would I do if I loved myself? And I’ve been working on that, and I appreciate that. And I appreciate you, the wisdom you are bringing. Oh, thank you so much.
Well, have a good one y’all, and here’s to hugs, notes, connection, and love.
If you enjoyed this podcast, take a look at my Connection Crew Program and One-on-One Coaching options by checking out the show notes in those programs. I teach and coach a variety of ways to have more fun and connection in your relationships. I also share how I have created a beautiful relationship with my daughters-in-law.
And if you want one easy question you can keep in your back pocket and use to increase the love you feel for your daughter-in-law today, go to Leannaustin.com and get the one question.
