What do you think of when you hear the word Shame?
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Welcome to Lovin My Daughter-in-law Podcast, where my mother-in-law, relationship expert and master certified coach, LeAnn Austin, will help you create more love and connection with your daughter-in-law and everyone else you care about.
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Just screenshot me the Amazon review you submit with your name. Email it to lovinmydil@leannaustin.com and P. S. This book will be a great gift to send to your mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, or a friend too. On to the podcast.
You’re listening to Lovin My Daughter-in-law, Episode #99: Shame
What do you think of when you hear the word shame? Some of us don’t know what it means and don’t want to know. Some of us know what it is and certainly don’t want to talk about it. And some of us think shame is what happens to other people and not to us.
Brené Brown has done countless research on shame, and I think her wisdom is so helpful when we explore this universal emotion. We all have shame, and the less we talk about it, the more control it has over us. So let’s talk about it. Brené defines shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed, and therefore unworthy of love, belonging, and connection. Shame thrives on secrecy, silence, and judgment.
Brené says if you put shame into a petri dish and douse it with those three things (secrecy, silence, and judgment), it will grow exponentially into every corner of our lives. She shares that the antidote to shame is empathy. When we reach out and share our shame experience with someone who responds with empathy, our shame dissipates.
Loving ourselves also helps us move through shame. Self compassion with ourselves when we suffer or feel inadequate, is a skill I teach and practice with my clients. It’s so much more useful than self criticism and telling ourselves that we are bad.
In January, our focus in Lovin My Daughter-in-law Program will be on shame. By the end of the month, you will know exactly what shame is and how to be shame resilient. We will explore perfectionism and how it increases the shame that we feel. I’ll teach you ways to stop the self destructive belief system that perfectionism fuels.
Lovin My Daughter-in-law Program is a beautiful community of people strengthening their mental and emotional muscles, as well as their relationships with others and themselves. Click on the link in the show notes or message me for more information. What a great way to start 2024, knowing how to recognize and overcome shame. This will create more fun and connection with family and friends rather than dread, frustration and eggshell walking. Look forward to seeing y’all in the Lovin My Daughter-in-law community. And remember, you don’t have to have a daughter-in-law to join.
Now, y’all know I love acronyms, and here’s one for the word SHAME. I don’t know who created this acronym, but I think it’s very helpful to remind ourselves when we’re feeling shame. Should Have Already Mastered Everything. I don’t know of anyone who has already mastered everything, and you know how unhelpful the word should is.
If you need a quick reminder about should, listen to my #37 podcast entitled: Should. Let’s bring shame into the light, drop the judgment and feel more love. I like this quote from Judith Orloff, “Shame is not your friend. It depletes your power. Let go of shame and embrace your magnificence.” Hmm, something to think about.
Come work with me and I’ll teach you to let go of shame and embrace your magnificence. Have a good one y’all, and here’s to overcoming shame and feeling more love.
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If you enjoy this podcast, check out LeAnn’s Lovin My Daughter-in-law Program where she coaches and teaches a variety of ways to have more fun and connection in our relationships. LeAnn also shares the five secrets she uses to create a beautiful relationship with me and her other daughter-in-Law. She’s the real deal. I highly recommend you check this out.
And, if you want one easy question you can keep in your back pocket and use to increase the love you feel for your daughter-in-law today, go to leannaustin.com and get the one question.
