I’m a big Julia Roberts fan – and some of you may remember the movie Runaway Bride – where Julia (acting as Maggie) would decide what kind of eggs she like based on the guy she was dating at the time. Whatever kind of eggs he liked, would then become what she liked. Julia/Maggie didn’t even know what kind of eggs she liked because she was always doing what someone else wanted, soon forgetting what she really enjoyed.
Have you noticed yourself doing something because you thought it would make someone else happy, but it wasn’t what you wanted at all?
A few questions to ask yourself…
Have you ever said yes when you really wanted to say no?
Do you tell little lies to avoid hurt feelings or to smooth things over?
Do you apologize often and for things you have no control over?
Do you do things for others so they will like you?
Do you pretend to agree with people even though you feel differently?
Do you neglect your own needs in order to do things for others?
Do you worry about what other people might think?
Do you fill your schedule with activities that you think other people want you to do?
This is called people pleasing y’all, and it isn’t love at all – it’s actually lying – lying to yourself and to others.
When we continue pushing our own needs to the side, it makes it hard to acknowledge them and recognize what we really feel and what we love.
Sometimes loving is saying no.
Loving is recognizing what is true for you and honoring that.
Love is not at your own expense – that doesn’t mean we don’t choose to do things we don’t necessarily want to for others, but we do it from love, not from lying.
One of my favorite quotes by Lysa TerKeurst:
“Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.”
Hmmm, something to think about.
Have a good one y’all ~ and here’s to love!
